Tag Archives: Dreadnoks

GI Joe Classified Beach Head (Retro Cardback)

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See Reviews of Zarana, Jinx, Tunnel Rat, and Law and Order at SpartanNerd.com

See the video review of this product here

I am on a roll picking up the Rawhides subgroup of GI Joes from the 1987 movie. I have Jinx, Tunnel Rat, Law and Order, and now their drill sergeant, Beach Head. (I need to get Lt. Falcon, Big Lob, and Chuckles, if anyone is counting).

I saw this Retro Cardback Beach Head at LT Toys in Columbia SC, and decided it was the perfect time to get one of the GI Joe Classified Series Retro Cardback figures.

As this is my first one, lets take a hard look at the package, which should be a bigger deal than the normal Classified Series stuff.

I mean…it looks like a toy from the 1980’s in modern collectors sensibilities. I have seen a few of these warming the pegs at Walmart…usually Cover Girl or Scarlett. I don’t know why the lady figures don’t sell so well? I seem to enjoy quite a few over the past couple of years. Back to Beach Head, you have a nice illustration with the classic explosion behind him. You can see the figure very well in his bluster bubble, as well as all of his accessories. Really…holding this in hand also brings back some memories. Let’s flip it over…

On the surface, it looks like a cardback from the 1980’s, but dig a little bit to see some differences. There is cross sell art, which is similar, but I don’t know who these characters are, and it doesn’t say who. The bio takes up most of the cardback, and I remember being a kid and cutting these out, only for them to usually get thrown away probably by my mom. She was generally against us having GI Joes by the way. Terrified of guns or that we would join the army. I have an uncle who almost made it to general, and so there we go…another draw towards the military that I am pretty sure scared her to death. I never joined up, but I strongly considered after 9/11. However, my son did go into the infantry, and worries US to death.

Back to the cardback…this bio barely gives us any information. Instead, we get a little bit in five languages. I absolutely think they should print this for other languages…that isn’t what I am saying. I wish a more fleshed out bio wasn’t sacrificed for the real estate on this card it takes to print five languages. (If they did print a different card for each language, that is even more incentive for people to chase down the variants…just saying!)

I love this package enough to keep the cardback. Important to note, it isn’t a collector’s friendly package. I used a pocket knife to cut the blister off without damaging the card. I saw where it is possible to use a hairdryer. I’ll keep the card with any others I pick up and keep using it as a diorama for YouTube videos, etc.

WHAT DO WE GET IN THE PACKAGE?

  • Beach Head Figure
  • Backpack
  • Bandolier
  • Pair of daggers
  • Crossbow
  • Pair of tear gas grenades
  • Pistol with silencer
  • Submachine gun (Demro XF-7 Wasp?)
  • Figure Stand

I kind of thought the retro-cardback style was another way to sell the core characters to nostalgia chasers, and use less plastic (parts and accessories). But that doesn’t seem to be the case with Beach Head. This is pretty much the exact same thing I would have expected from the more classic Classified Series packaging.

FIGURE REVIEW

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Cobra Commander and Retro Cardback Beach Head

Beach Head has all of the same articulation you would expect. BUT my example has a stiff right knee that has a top joint that doesn’t want to move. I used the hair dryer and got it to go, but it is still very stiff. Otherwise he has a ball-jointed head on a posable neck, butterfly joints on the shoulders, bicep swivels, double jointed elbows, swivel wrists with rubbery hands. Ab crunch, waist twist, ball jointed hips, double jointed knees, boot cut shins, rocker ankles. Everything you would expect from a Classified Series figure.

Beach Head is wearing what I would describe as riot gear, however he is clearly an Army Ranger. He has this rubber flack jacket and ammo utility belt. There are red details on the shoulders which I believe are padding because of the weight of this armor and backpack, but it also could be some kind of storage. He has a poster for his pistol, which has a silencer also. There are sheaths for his two daggers…this is very welcome considering that Law and Order didn’t come with a sheath. He doesn’t have a proper way of storing the crossbow or machine gun on his armor.

His sculpt is very good. Mostly this is a uniform sculpt, like the recent Jinx figure I reviewed. You aren’t seeing a lot of human figure, but instead are seeing the costume. In the case of Beach Head, his most iconic look is this look. Military uniform from head to toe, always wearing a ski mask. But it is a great sculpt. You can see the elastic details on his shirt, the ridges on his mask, and the pants look like natural pants. (These have been used before…Sergeant Slaughter has the same pants and deco)

The paint is an area I thought this retro cardback figure might skimp on. It’s true that the accessories could use more paint, but the figure doesn’t seem to have suffered. All of the paint on this figure is well done. There is some of the “molded in colored plastic” effect that does some of the work.

Beach Head inspects the Rawhides. PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Jinx, Law, and Tunnel Rat. MIA Lt. Falcon, Big Lob, and Chuckles. I have a feeling I will be getting Big Lob soon…

You can see in the above photo that Beach Head, being from the Retro Cardback, isn’t the least bit worse than the other three.

ACCESSORIES

Beach Head is absolutely loaded. I believe his best accessory is the submachine gun. BUT…it needs more paint apps. It’s true that it captures what the vintage figure came with. But like I said before, it is in the accessories where the paint apps are lacking. This machine gun has a muzzle break and a magazine, both removable. And his hands are very rubbery, allowing you to pose him holding it without problems. Notable, this figure did not come with alternate hands like so many others, but these rubbery hands are a good workaround. This gun, reportedly a Demro FX-7 Wasp, isn’t normally military. I looked it up, and it was possibly used in Vietnam, where actually American military issued weapons were not allowed. But in general, this is more of a police weapon.

PICTURED: All GI Joe Classified Series figures. Cold Slither (Dreadnoks Zartan, Buzzer, Torch, and Ripper), Zarana, and GI Joe Beach Head.

His pistol is average for GI Joe. The bandolier…I am told that this pouch thing he is holding is just that. It holds three ammo cans. You can attach the tear gas grenades to it also. his backpack appears to have the arrows for the crossbow sculpted in. Internet research says that this backpack has a mine detector.

PICTURED: Turtles of Grayskull Skull-Shredder vs. GI Joe Classified Shooter and Beach Head. It looks like they have him with their pistols, but we all know it won’t be that simple…Also pictured my favorite cover of Turtles of Grayskull #1 and the most recent Energon Universe GI Joe story, where the Joes recruit Roadblock. (was that a spoiler?)

SPARTANNERD RATING OF GI JOE CLASSIFIED RETRO CARDBACK BEACH HEAD

  • Sculpt- Point
  • Paint- Point
  • Accessories- Point
  • Articulation- Taking a point off because of his knee issues
  • the feels point- You know it!

Yeah, Beach Head gets the feels point all day because of that special scene in the 1987 GI Joe movie. I recently watched it again just because that movie is awesome…I had it on Beta Max when I was a little kid and watched this movie all of the time…easily once a week. But the best scene in the movie isn’t Nemesis Enforcer, or even the opening music video (though that is undeniably awesome). It is the scene between Jinx and Beach Head. And I am going to write my feelings right now, and you’ll know why I needed Beach Head so much, and also why he gets the Feels Point, even though the SpartanNerd is a Cobra fan.

First of all, Beach Head is inspecting the new recruits, dubbed Rawhides. These are six new bodies being injected into GI Joe by Hasbro, but I digress. Beach Head gives them a looking over and blah, blah, blah Lt. Falcon is AWOL. Jinx is among them. Beach Head trains Big Lob and Tunnel Rat, but then meets Jinx in her training area, which looks kind of ninja-cabin-ish. She is working her katas or something. Here he accuses her of being bad luck, and then she makes a kissy face at him. He doesn’t like this at all, and proceeds to beat her up and then using the gladiator pole shoved in her face says “$#1+ ! Pathetic!” Yep. On a straight to TV movie. I would normally not like this except for what happens next.

As Beach Head begins to leave, she puts on her blindfold and breaks the training pole in two, then beats Beach Head down.

And there you have it. Beach Head gets the feels point. There has never been a time when this movie was on that I didn’t stop what I was doing…almost like saying the Pledge of Allegiance, and just take it in.

So I award GI Joe Classified Series Retro Cardback Beach Head a 4/5. He only loses a point because of his knee problem, but I guess the SpartanNerd loses that point also!

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!

GI Joe Classified Jinx and Zarana- Action figure showdown

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I’ve done a couple of action figure showdowns…Black Falcon vs. Demistros, Battle Armor He-Man (He-Men?), King vs. King vs. King. And now a version featuring the ladies.

I picked up Zarana and Jinx at the Toy Federation in Greer, SC. (Also Studio Series Soundwave). Why these two?

My favorite scene from he 1987 GI Joe movie was where Beach Head is training with Jinx. (I in fact love the whole part of Beach Head in this movie!) Beach Head interrupts Jinx while she is training, and proceeds to kick her butt…then PG-13 cussing at her (remember…this movie released on TV only!) As he begins to leave, she puts on her blindfold, breaks the training pole into two, and then beats the snot out of Beach Head.

Zarana is THE girl on the Dreadnoks team. There might be more, but I don’t know them. She is Zartan’s sister, and this came crashing back to me when I got the 2025 SDCC Cold Slither set. As you open it up, Zarana is sitting in the ticket booth. I knew then I would be picking her up if she was available. So here we are.

A “good girl” and a “bad girl.” Who will win?

PACKAGING

Zarana’s packaging

The back of Zarana’s packaging

Jinx’s packaging. More modern, but less splashy.
The back of Jinx’s packaging.

Both figures come in the kind of GI Joe Classified packaging you expect. I believe that Jinx’s is more recent, while Zarana’s appears to come from one of the early waves. As such, Jinx package is more sporty and as a consequence boring, while Zarana has actual illustrated comic-style art on her package. I am not figuring the packaging into the head-to-head score. I am grateful that neither was in a windowless package! So what will I use to score? The same criteria I always use. Sculpt, Paint, Accessories, Articulation, and the feels point.

FIGURE RUNDOWNS

What do you get in Jinx’s package?

  • Jinx figure
  • alternate head
  • Double-bladed Naginata (Bo staff with sai on both ends)
  • alternate fists
  • katana with sheath
  • Bandana
  • choker necklace (I’m counting this as it is easily removable)

What do you get in Zarana’s package?

  • Zarana figure
  • alternate hair
  • machine gun with skill saw blade
  • backpack
  • heat knife
  • ice-pick style dagger

The figure articulations are exactly the same. Notable…I hadn’t payed attention to this before…they both have butterfly shoulder joints! This is just now making it into Mythic Legions, for instance. And it will be a feature of the upcoming Masters of the Universe Chronicles line. And so once again they both receive a point. Jinx 2 points, Zarana 2 points. Jinx feels like the more important to have great articulation, as a martial artist. I suppose it is worth saying that Zarana’s upper arm pads kind of restrict how far up you can raise her arms…but actually it isn’t bad enough to count off a point.

The sculpts and paints. Here is where there is more a clear winner.

PICTURED: Super7 Ultimates Snake Eyes and GI Joe Classified Series Jinx.

Jinx is a red action figure. Hasbro has painted details over the red jumpsuit. And her shoes are not military…they are workout shoes. And if you use the alternate head, that is also molded in red plastic. Her arms are bare, but she has a flowery tattoo printed on her arm. Her face is a strong representation of the character, which is to say she aint no Scarlett or Baroness. In the movie, before she tries sparring with Beach Head, she makes a kissy face at him…and this ticks him off. He isn’t about playing around. But I don’t think he would have had the same reaction with Scarlett or Cover Girl. She just isn’t very pretty if you ask me. I’m just not a fan of that red plastic and sparse paint…do the clothes make the woman? They do in Jinx’s case, because this is all she has going for her. You could put almost any other female figure’s head on this body and it could work to make a new ninja.

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Cold Slither with Zarana.

Zarana is a different story…and I don’t think she’s pretty either. More like tough. But clearly more care was put into sculpting the details into her denim. Every tiny hook, buckle, strap, etc. is sculpted and has a paint hit. Her boots cover all of her lower legs and end with knee guards at the top. And this is painted and includes stirrups. Her jeans have large rips with pink tights (leggings?) visible underneath. I looked up an image of the vintage figure thinking this might suppose to be exposed flesh, but no it was pink back then also. I believe it was stylish patches, but they have updated it for the fashion of the 2020’s. Her top…this exposes a midriff with … abs! I looked at all of my female action figures, and none of them have abs like this. (Masters of the Universe Classics Battleground Teela barely has abs). This crop-top is pink with silver details and a brown strap. You get my point…her sculpt and paint are far superior to what Jinx has going on. Her face is very Dreadnok. Not pretty…more like an “I will mess you up” kind of face. She has shoulder protection that is also pink. Her hair is two-toned…or maybe even three shades. She’s a beast!

So Zarana gets these two points.

Accessories.

OK…I eventually got a Beach Head! Review coming soon. (PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Retro Cardback Beach Head)

They both have a similar number of accessories actually. I do wish Jinx came with a gun. On the other hand, she came with hands (see what I did there)? You can count her blindfold and also her choker as accessories. But on this line of thinking, you probably could remove Zarana’s top. (I’m not into customizing like this, but you probably could with a hair dryer). Jinx’s accessories tell a story of a ninja. Especially the katana and naginata. Both are painted well and she has no trouble posing with them. Zarana’s accessories are a little bit wingnut…a machine gun with a skill saw on the end? It took me a little while to figure it out, but the “heat knife” is an electric turkey carving knife! My grandma used to use one…but hers didn’t heat up. So I guess Zarana can cut the turkey and cook it at the same time! She has a backpack which also serves a storage for that knife. I believe Jinx wins this one only barely…she can’t be who she is without her weapons. Zarana’s stuff is in line with what a Dreadnok would have as a weapon.

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Zarana vs. Night Force Shooter. Shooter is “cuter” than either of them in this review.

Zarana- Articulation, Sculpt, paint- Three points.

Jinx- Articulation, Accessories…and THE FEELS POINT.- Three points

So why would I give the feels point to Jinx and not Zarana? Well I wanted both figures, so there’s that. But Jinx is in my favorite GI Joe The Movie scene (besides that hair-raising introduction music video. CObra–coBRA!) I just needed to have her, which also gives me most of the Rawhides movie scene. While Zarana is of Cobra and is a Dreadnok, which I also love.

So these ladies tie in this contest. It was my contest anyway. I said this could happen!

BUT LET’S GET OBJECTIVE

Zarana is clearly a better action figure when you take away the feels point. Just better paint and sculpt. You can tell she is huge on personality even if you don’t know anything about her character. These two tie in my contest, but if I put them against Mythic Legions or MASTERVERSE or any other modern action figures aimed at the SpartanNerd, then actually Jinx is more like a 3/5 and Zarana is a 5/5.

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!

SpartanNerd Cabin Fever-Cold Slither Concert Time

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See yesterday’s action figure photography post about the snow here.

An icicle spike, right at my tire.

Yeah…I’m going even more koo-koo crazy today…but at least I got out and drove to Walmart…it was dangerous at least on the way there. You have to worry about other drivers being nuts…I know I drive real slow over sheets of ice, while the cars pile up behind me. What is the hurry anyway? To slide off the road and crash into a tree?

My GI Joe Classified Series shelf has been in disarray, so I decided to use some of my boredom to fix it up. I thought I would make the Cold Slither look like the cover of the comic. So I cut the box up…(it was hard to bring myself to do that) and then got to setting them up.

My copy of the Cold Slither one shot by Tim Seeley. Seeley is more known for his work on Masters of the Universe.

You can pose them pretty close to the pose on the art. Unfortunately, their hair is too stiff to pose it like a fan is blowing it or something. (Once I saw Diamante in concert. She literally has fans on the edge of the stage to blow her incredible hair!) Torch is only barely balanced in that crouched pose. I added a little color filter to make it a little more in line with the comics colors. I glued some dice to the amplifiers to make them stand…they aren’t in the comic cover, but I can’t do the comic cover perfect anyway. The figures to a good job of standing like it, though.

Well, the Cold Slither concert went great. They played all the classics, plus a cover of “Am I Evil.” What was happening at the back of the venue?

Looks like Sgt. Slaughter led the Night Force to arrest Cobra Commander and Gnawgahyde. Cobra Commander was just trying to pay his bouncer, and then here come the Joes just messing things up. (I grew up typically a Cobra guy).

That packaging is so good, this back-of-the box really captures this seedy place where Cold Slither would hold a concert. I added kind of a smoky filter to make it even better.

Links to reviews of the figures above

Sgt Slaughter

Shooter and Tunnel Rat

Law and Order

Gnawgahyde, Porkbelly, and Yobbo

I never did a review of Cobra Commander. By the way, he is one of the most commonly seen GI Joe Classified figures. I believe they “over printed” him.

G.I. Joe Classified Law and Order – SpartanNerd unboxing and Review

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See the video review at my YouTube channel here!

As a longtime G.I. Joe fan and now the owner of a real-life German Shepherd, this Classified called my name throughout December. Between nostalgia from the G.I. Joe movie and modern Classified Series design, Law and Order was exactly what the SpartanNerd wanted with some of his Christmas money.

(What I really spent it on was Heatboys TMNT Donatello…you’ll have to wait for that review to drop…let’s just say SOLID 5/5!)

Packaging

Law and Order came in the typical GI Joe Classified Series window box. The last two Classifieds I reviewed came in that dumb windowless box. But I’m not sure they could sell this figure without such a good window where you can especially see the K9 dog.

The side has artwork similar to other GI Joe Classified series figures. I will be removing this and adding it to my diorama.

The back features a photoshop scene from the 1987 GI Joe movie. Law was one of Beach Head’s new recruits in training. Beach Head sent him in to a mockup town to find a bomb. But what Beach Head didn’t know was that Law was going to cheat, calling in Order to help. Order finds the bomb right away and brings it to Beach Head, but wants to play tug-of-war with it. Law gets it away and throws it, where it explodes away from the town. And then Beach Head says a famous line, (but doesn’t cuss this time), “I hope you both get fleas!”

Too bad the figure didn’t come with a bomb accessory. I kind of hoped that I just couldn’t see it in the package, but nope. There would be no hiding it with this window, and there was no surprise bomb this time. (Jokey Smurf reference!)

Of course, the other side of the box is useless, containing the coded bio symbols and a QR code that links to Hasbro’s main site.

What Do You Get in the Box?

  • Law action figure
  • German Shepherd K9 figure “Order”
  • Order has a K9 helmet and, collar, and harness
  • Multiple interchangeable hands
  • Alternate snarling dog head
  • Removable hat
  • Handcuffs
  • Nightstick (tonfa)
  • Uzi submachine gun
  • Pistol
  • Dagger

I mention the K9 helmet, as it wasn’t clear that it was removable. (for all we know it could be hard-sculpted on.)

Articulation

Law

Law features the standard G.I. Joe Classified articulation we’ve come to expect: excellent range of motion at the head, shoulders, elbows, wrists, torso, hips, knees, and ankles.

His removable hat fits well, and his tactical vest appears removable with some effort, but I don’t feel the need to take it off. (There might be a glued seam under one arm. Sculpted details like the flashlight and body cam add realism, making Law feel like a true modern military police officer.

Order

Order can rotate his head and has a slight up and down on his neck joint. He has jointed knees and elbows, as well as ankles on some kind of joint that can be angled in any direction. His tail is also on a ball joint. His front and back legs have “splay” and he can stand very well. There is also a mid-body articulation (do we call this a “torso” on a dog?)

The mouth does not close—Order always has his tongue out in the default head sculpt—You can swap the head for a more menacing “snarling” look.

Accessories

We have a lot of similarities…We can remove our helmets, and have large scary pets! PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Battle Armor Skeletor and Panthor, and GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order. Both are posing with their helmet and pet.

The Uzi machine gun is painted green-on-black, and looks like real guns I have likely seen at shows or just around my son who was in the army. I don’t know hardly anything about guns, but this one looks very realistic.

PICTURED: Law leads some NPC GI Joes and Tunnel Rat, while busting Cold Slither. Notice Zartan is escaping! All GI Joe Classified Series figures.

Be careful with these handcuffs. They are made of the thinnest plastic. Honestly they feel like that plastic that Hasbro uses to tie figures into a blister card. Flimsy stuff. There isn’t a way to unlock them…they are permanently closed. If you want to put them on a figure you have to remove their hands.

My son says he believes this pistol is not styled after a real pistol. I tend to believe him…

PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Man-E-Faces and GI Joe Classified Law. Both showing off their fictitious pistols.

The knightstick is a nice piece, but I wish the flashlight wasn’t permanently attached to the belt. I know some real police, and these flashlights are also meant to be used as nightsticks if necessary.

The dagger…I never could find a place on the figure where this dagger was supposed to sheath to. This was some kind of oversight at the Hasbro I believe.

Order- OK. This isn’t an accessory if you ask me.

Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera is OK to take apart…but I am not showing this heroic K9 disassembled.

No problem removing his helmet. It comes right off past the ears with a little force. BUT, in order to remove the harness…this is where there is a problem. There is no buckle or snap on this harness, instead you have to remove the head and neck (the neck doesn’t come off easy), and the two back legs.

It works, but it feels wrong—especially for younger collectors or anyone sensitive to pulling apart a dog figure. But he looks great without it on, and I prefer him not to wear it, though I know he is supposed to.

PICTURED: Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber and Order. I have nine dogs. I see this scene every day.

Order is of a similar scale to Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera skeleton pet, Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber wolf companion, GI Joe Classified Series Gnawgahyde’s Porkbelly warthog is bigger, but I believe this is accurate. (In a fight, my money is on the Warthog)

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order and also Porkbelly, Gnawgahyde’s pet warthog.

SpartanNerd Rating of GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order

Such a good boy…he has Cobra Commander’s gun!

I am rating GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. I award points for sculpt, paint, articulation, accessories, and “feels.” The set gets all of these, especially the feels point because I also now have a German Shepherd, but also because of my love for the 1980’s GI Joe movie. I believe I will be completing the “team” of Beach Head’s recruits, because now all I need are Beach Head, Jinx, Big Lob, and Lt. Falcon.


I rate GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. Do you agree or disagree? Do you have a German Shepherd of your own?


Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and check out more GI Joe Classified Series reviews on SpartanNerd.com.