GI Joe Classified Jinx and Zarana- Action figure showdown

I’ve done a couple of action figure showdowns…Black Falcon vs. Demistros, Battle Armor He-Man (He-Men?), King vs. King vs. King. And now a version featuring the ladies.

I picked up Zarana and Jinx at the Toy Federation in Greer, SC. (Also Studio Series Soundwave). Why these two?

My favorite scene from he 1987 GI Joe movie was where Beach Head is training with Jinx. (I in fact love the whole part of Beach Head in this movie!) Beach Head interrupts Jinx while she is training, and proceeds to kick her butt…then PG-13 cussing at her (remember…this movie released on TV only!) As he begins to leave, she puts on her blindfold, breaks the training pole into two, and then beats the snot out of Beach Head.

Zarana is THE girl on the Dreadnoks team. There might be more, but I don’t know them. She is Zartan’s sister, and this came crashing back to me when I got the 2025 SDCC Cold Slither set. As you open it up, Zarana is sitting in the ticket booth. I knew then I would be picking her up if she was available. So here we are.

A “good girl” and a “bad girl.” Who will win?

PACKAGING

Zarana’s packaging

The back of Zarana’s packaging

Jinx’s packaging. More modern, but less splashy.
The back of Jinx’s packaging.

Both figures come in the kind of GI Joe Classified packaging you expect. I believe that Jinx’s is more recent, while Zarana’s appears to come from one of the early waves. As such, Jinx package is more sporty and as a consequence boring, while Zarana has actual illustrated comic-style art on her package. I am not figuring the packaging into the head-to-head score. I am grateful that neither was in a windowless package! So what will I use to score? The same criteria I always use. Sculpt, Paint, Accessories, Articulation, and the feels point.

FIGURE RUNDOWNS

What do you get in Jinx’s package?

  • Jinx figure
  • alternate head
  • Double-bladed Naginata (Bo staff with sai on both ends)
  • alternate fists
  • katana with sheath
  • Bandana
  • choker necklace (I’m counting this as it is easily removable)

What do you get in Zarana’s package?

  • Zarana figure
  • alternate hair
  • machine gun with skill saw blade
  • backpack
  • heat knife
  • ice-pick style dagger

The figure articulations are exactly the same. Notable…I hadn’t payed attention to this before…they both have butterfly shoulder joints! This is just now making it into Mythic Legions, for instance. And it will be a feature of the upcoming Masters of the Universe Chronicles line. And so once again they both receive a point. Jinx 2 points, Zarana 2 points. Jinx feels like the more important to have great articulation, as a martial artist. I suppose it is worth saying that Zarana’s upper arm pads kind of restrict how far up you can raise her arms…but actually it isn’t bad enough to count off a point.

The sculpts and paints. Here is where there is more a clear winner.

PICTURED: Super7 Ultimates Snake Eyes and GI Joe Classified Series Jinx.

Jinx is a red action figure. Hasbro has painted details over the red jumpsuit. And her shoes are not military…they are workout shoes. And if you use the alternate head, that is also molded in red plastic. Her arms are bare, but she has a flowery tattoo printed on her arm. Her face is a strong representation of the character, which is to say she aint no Scarlett or Baroness. In the movie, before she tries sparring with Beach Head, she makes a kissy face at him…and this ticks him off. He isn’t about playing around. But I don’t think he would have had the same reaction with Scarlett or Cover Girl. She just isn’t very pretty if you ask me. I’m just not a fan of that red plastic and sparse paint…do the clothes make the woman? They do in Jinx’s case, because this is all she has going for her. You could put almost any other female figure’s head on this body and it could work to make a new ninja.

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Cold Slither with Zarana.

Zarana is a different story…and I don’t think she’s pretty either. More like tough. But clearly more care was put into sculpting the details into her denim. Every tiny hook, buckle, strap, etc. is sculpted and has a paint hit. Her boots cover all of her lower legs and end with knee guards at the top. And this is painted and includes stirrups. Her jeans have large rips with pink tights (leggings?) visible underneath. I looked up an image of the vintage figure thinking this might suppose to be exposed flesh, but no it was pink back then also. I believe it was stylish patches, but they have updated it for the fashion of the 2020’s. Her top…this exposes a midriff with … abs! I looked at all of my female action figures, and none of them have abs like this. (Masters of the Universe Classics Battleground Teela barely has abs). This crop-top is pink with silver details and a brown strap. You get my point…her sculpt and paint are far superior to what Jinx has going on. Her face is very Dreadnok. Not pretty…more like an “I will mess you up” kind of face. She has shoulder protection that is also pink. Her hair is two-toned…or maybe even three shades. She’s a beast!

So Zarana gets these two points.

Accessories.

OK…I eventually got a Beach Head! Review coming soon. (PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Retro Cardback Beach Head)

They both have a similar number of accessories actually. I do wish Jinx came with a gun. On the other hand, she came with hands (see what I did there)? You can count her blindfold and also her choker as accessories. But on this line of thinking, you probably could remove Zarana’s top. (I’m not into customizing like this, but you probably could with a hair dryer). Jinx’s accessories tell a story of a ninja. Especially the katana and naginata. Both are painted well and she has no trouble posing with them. Zarana’s accessories are a little bit wingnut…a machine gun with a skill saw on the end? It took me a little while to figure it out, but the “heat knife” is an electric turkey carving knife! My grandma used to use one…but hers didn’t heat up. So I guess Zarana can cut the turkey and cook it at the same time! She has a backpack which also serves a storage for that knife. I believe Jinx wins this one only barely…she can’t be who she is without her weapons. Zarana’s stuff is in line with what a Dreadnok would have as a weapon.

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Zarana vs. Night Force Shooter. Shooter is “cuter” than either of them in this review.

Zarana- Articulation, Sculpt, paint- Three points.

Jinx- Articulation, Accessories…and THE FEELS POINT.- Three points

So why would I give the feels point to Jinx and not Zarana? Well I wanted both figures, so there’s that. But Jinx is in my favorite GI Joe The Movie scene (besides that hair-raising introduction music video. CObra–coBRA!) I just needed to have her, which also gives me most of the Rawhides movie scene. While Zarana is of Cobra and is a Dreadnok, which I also love.

So these ladies tie in this contest. It was my contest anyway. I said this could happen!

BUT LET’S GET OBJECTIVE

Zarana is clearly a better action figure when you take away the feels point. Just better paint and sculpt. You can tell she is huge on personality even if you don’t know anything about her character. These two tie in my contest, but if I put them against Mythic Legions or MASTERVERSE or any other modern action figures aimed at the SpartanNerd, then actually Jinx is more like a 3/5 and Zarana is a 5/5.

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!

G.I. Joe Classified Law and Order – SpartanNerd unboxing and Review

See the video review at my YouTube channel here!

As a longtime G.I. Joe fan and now the owner of a real-life German Shepherd, this Classified called my name throughout December. Between nostalgia from the G.I. Joe movie and modern Classified Series design, Law and Order was exactly what the SpartanNerd wanted with some of his Christmas money.

(What I really spent it on was Heatboys TMNT Donatello…you’ll have to wait for that review to drop…let’s just say SOLID 5/5!)


Packaging

Law and Order came in the typical GI Joe Classified Series window box. The last two Classifieds I reviewed came in that dumb windowless box. But I’m not sure they could sell this figure without such a good window where you can especially see the K9 dog.

The side has artwork similar to other GI Joe Classified series figures. I will be removing this and adding it to my diorama.

The back features a photoshop scene from the 1987 GI Joe movie. Law was one of Beach Head’s new recruits in training. Beach Head sent him in to a mockup town to find a bomb. But what Beach Head didn’t know was that Law was going to cheat, calling in Order to help. Order finds the bomb right away and brings it to Beach Head, but wants to play tug-of-war with it. Law gets it away and throws it, where it explodes away from the town. And then Beach Head says a famous line, (but doesn’t cuss this time), “I hope you both get fleas!”

Too bad the figure didn’t come with a bomb accessory. I kind of hoped that I just couldn’t see it in the package, but nope. There would be no hiding it with this window, and there was no surprise bomb this time. (Jokey Smurf reference!)

Of course, the other side of the box is useless, containing the coded bio symbols and a QR code that links to Hasbro’s main site.


What Do You Get in the Box?

  • Law action figure
  • German Shepherd K9 figure “Order”
  • Order has a K9 helmet and, collar, and harness
  • Multiple interchangeable hands
  • Alternate snarling dog head
  • Removable hat
  • Handcuffs
  • Nightstick (tonfa)
  • Uzi submachine gun
  • Pistol
  • Dagger

I mention the K9 helmet, as it wasn’t clear that it was removable. (for all we know it could be hard-sculpted on.)


Articulation

Law

Law features the standard G.I. Joe Classified articulation we’ve come to expect: excellent range of motion at the head, shoulders, elbows, wrists, torso, hips, knees, and ankles.

His removable hat fits well, and his tactical vest appears removable with some effort, but I don’t feel the need to take it off. (There might be a glued seam under one arm. Sculpted details like the flashlight and body cam add realism, making Law feel like a true modern military police officer.

Order

Order can rotate his head and has a slight up and down on his neck joint. He has jointed knees and elbows, as well as ankles on some kind of joint that can be angled in any direction. His tail is also on a ball joint. His front and back legs have “splay” and he can stand very well. There is also a mid-body articulation (do we call this a “torso” on a dog?)

The mouth does not close—Order always has his tongue out in the default head sculpt—You can swap the head for a more menacing “snarling” look.


Accessories

We have a lot of similarities…We can remove our helmets, and have large scary pets! PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Battle Armor Skeletor and Panthor, and GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order. Both are posing with their helmet and pet.

The Uzi machine gun is painted green-on-black, and looks like real guns I have likely seen at shows or just around my son who was in the army. I don’t know hardly anything about guns, but this one looks very realistic.

PICTURED: Law leads some NPC GI Joes and Tunnel Rat, while busting Cold Slither. Notice Zartan is escaping! All GI Joe Classified Series figures.

Be careful with these handcuffs. They are made of the thinnest plastic. Honestly they feel like that plastic that Hasbro uses to tie figures into a blister card. Flimsy stuff. There isn’t a way to unlock them…they are permanently closed. If you want to put them on a figure you have to remove their hands.

My son says he believes this pistol is not styled after a real pistol. I tend to believe him…

PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Man-E-Faces and GI Joe Classified Law. Both showing off their fictitious pistols.

The knightstick is a nice piece, but I wish the flashlight wasn’t permanently attached to the belt. I know some real police, and these flashlights are also meant to be used as nightsticks if necessary.

The dagger…I never could find a place on the figure where this dagger was supposed to sheath to. This was some kind of oversight at the Hasbro I believe.

Order- OK. This isn’t an accessory if you ask me.

Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera is OK to take apart…but I am not showing this heroic K9 disassembled.

No problem removing his helmet. It comes right off past the ears with a little force. BUT, in order to remove the harness…this is where there is a problem. There is no buckle or snap on this harness, instead you have to remove the head and neck (the neck doesn’t come off easy), and the two back legs.

It works, but it feels wrong—especially for younger collectors or anyone sensitive to pulling apart a dog figure. But he looks great without it on, and I prefer him not to wear it, though I know he is supposed to.

PICTURED: Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber and Order. I have nine dogs. I see this scene every day.

Order is of a similar scale to Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera skeleton pet, Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber wolf companion, GI Joe Classified Series Gnawgahyde’s Porkbelly warthog is bigger, but I believe this is accurate. (In a fight, my money is on the Warthog)

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order and also Porkbelly, Gnawgahyde’s pet warthog.

SpartanNerd Rating of GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order

Such a good boy…he has Cobra Commander’s gun!

I am rating GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. I award points for sculpt, paint, articulation, accessories, and “feels.” The set gets all of these, especially the feels point because I also now have a German Shepherd, but also because of my love for the 1980’s GI Joe movie. I believe I will be completing the “team” of Beach Head’s recruits, because now all I need are Beach Head, Jinx, Big Lob, and Lt. Falcon.


I rate GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. Do you agree or disagree? Do you have a German Shepherd of your own?


Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and check out more GI Joe Classified Series reviews on SpartanNerd.com.