The SpartanNerd’s copy on VHS. Don’t know when the last time I watched this tape was. This time I streamed it on Tubi, which was free except for a singular commercial at the beginning.

I have recently picked up two Evil Lyn figures…one MASTERVERSE Revelation, and the other MASTERVERSE “Movie Inspired.” I will be doing reviews of those figures soon, but I thought I would stop and watch the movie again…maybe the twentieth time ever. But this time with a more critical eye and thinking about recent toys.

As I watched, I jotted down some “quick notes.” I have a habit of doing this nowadays, especially on a second or third viewing of a film. I am commenting on a film that is 37 years old (as of 2024), and I am very aware of the “cult classic” effect of the movie on a modern audience. There are things about it that are forgivable, and others that are not so much. Below you can see my observations as I watched the film in bold, and my commentary a few weeks later in italics.

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The Castle Grayskull matte painting is very epic.  You can get a scope of the scale by seeing the Sorceress standing in the right eye socket.

We only see the castle a few times. That they chose this more tower design is interesting. I wonder if they were thinking of the Eternia Playset or something like that. And while the sorceress, in white clothes reflecting the Temple of Darkness colors, can be seen in that eye socket, I believe she is still too big!

The set of Grayskull isn’t very epic.  The throne room has steps that appear like average hardwood.  The throne and the Great Eye of the Galaxy look very dramatic, with nice hieroglyphics on obelisks on either side of the seat.  But the surrounding environment really takes away from it.  I’ll have to keep watching, but isn’t the great eye similar to Skeletor’s ship?

That there is this circular design behind Skeletor actually did confuse me as a child. Because Skeletor’s invading space ship also has this circular design. What?? is he flying around with the Great Eye of the Galaxy? I wonder why a better design wasn’t created. Why not something closer to “The Collector?”

Teela and Gwildor had never eaten meat or considered it.

This always has bothered me. Teela says that Earth is “Barbaric.” Isn’t that what Masters of the Universe is supposed to be? Even as a child I thought it was odd that Teela hadn’t eaten meat. Gwildor is a wierdo. He gets a pass. But the Captain of the Guard? She would know what rib bones were. She would have at least seen animals eating meat. And we know she enjoys Roast Gooble. But Movie Teela has to be straightedge I guess.

Weapons He-Man uses.  Up to the high school scene, we have seen He-Man wield the storm trooper rifle twice.  The blaster that he handed Julie was evidently set to stun, or Saurod’s armor is lazer proof.  She shot him point blank in the back, but it only jarred him.

He-Man stole Blade’s sword and duel wielded!

Another note…there is a “backless” part of the cape, good design choice for us to still be able to see the sword.  Haven’t seen the scabbard yet.

He-Man is a heavy gun user in this movie. I know my mother didn’t approve of this. And we never see him use guns in other media much…he hardly uses weapons including his sword in Filmation. I notice that the gun that came with the new figure is solid black, but He-Man’s blaster in the movie has silver parts on the bottom. I will probably customize this. Why didn’t they just give us accurate stuff? They could use GI JOE Classified for pointers! Eventually we do see the scabbard, and it is indeed only a half-sheath. Very strange, but the figure is accurate. Dolph’s backless cape is more dramatic than that on the figure…the backless part is almost ignorable. I know why that is there… so we can see the power sword, a necessary compromise. They wanted to give him a cape to make him more superheroic, but stay true to the roots that his main weapon is supposedly a sword.

The Cosmic Key has a handle like a gun.

I don’t own the Masters of the Universe Classics Gwildor, but I don’t think we have had a toy cosmic key that really captures what it looked like in the movie. It has that cylindrical shape, with tuning forks around it, and rows of buttons, with one big red light that activates it. And what looks like a blaster handle or rifle stock sticking out perpendicularly also. But no one uses the Cosmic Key like a gun. The little strap on the two MASTERVERSE Cosmic Keys we have isn’t a gun handle or stock.

39:18 into the movie, there is a cool scene of Julie and He-Man sitting and talking in the storage room at the high school (or a nearby construction site?) The rubble and items around would make a good photo scene for figures.  I wonder if there is a Courtney Cox figure out there in scale?  She is wrapped in He-Man’s cape

I have been making dioramas lately, and this scene caught my eye. I haven’t looked into a Courtney Cox figure very hard. I would be a cool idea, though! I also don’t know if He-Man’s cloth cape can detach from the armor. Something I might feel up to messing with. What is the worst that could happen? I have to gorilla glue it back?

5’5” short hair pink sweater

This is Kevin’s description of Julie to Lubick. He really narrowed it down, didn’t he? (NOPE)

Gwildor in a ’57 Chevy…pink.  “Primitive land boat.“

l love some ’57 Chevy action. The very first model car I build was of a ’57 with flame decals. This idea in this movie calls out to so many other things, from Christine to the Delorean to Grease.

42:30. Skeletor and Evil Lyn staring into each others eyes.

 Evil Lyn is agging on his obsession with He-Man.  This tracks with modern portrayals.

Indeed modern depictions of Evil Lyn contain this seductress element. The best is the depiction in the comics, where she used that guy to gain access to the Eye of Grayskull, and to get revenge on him for betraying Trap Jaw. In 200x Mike Young cartoon, she clearly strikes something up with Keldor, and adoringly gushes over Skeletor’s power later on, seemingly to regret the loss of that relationship. And in Masters of the Universe Revelation seducing Skeletor is her way of gaining the power of Grayskull for herself. This intimate scene in the movie is probably the first time we saw such a relationship between the two. In filmation, she was clearly second in power and ability, but no romance.

Skeletor’s force lightning evaporates Saurod.  My thought about Sauron…he is the least likable of the mercs.

As a child I had this toy. I remember throwing him up in the air and getting it stuck in a pine tree. So he got zapped here and “sapped” there!

Possible accessories for evil Lyn: Scanner, Hologram projector, (The image of the Cosmic Key actually looks a little bit like Gwildors vintage toy), Collar of Aldrabad

Evil Lyn IS NOT wearing pink.  It looks gray actually

Why am I pointing these out? Because the MASTERVERSE Evil Lyn woefully didn’t come with anything except that unpainted, “translucent”, Cosmic Key…the same sculpt of Skeletor’s without paint. They could have included all of these. In fact, the hologram projector would have been a no-brainer. The wand that she has in so many depictions, with the dragons claw and spherical crystal could have been easily modified. Just give it a flat top! So the SpartanNerd has a bit of color blindness…sometimes I don’t see shades so good. And as I watched the movie, I kept looking to see if she was wearing pink this whole time but somehow I missed it. But no I’m pretty sure it’s gray. There is a lot of lighting that makes it look pinker, purpler, redder than it actually is. Also, it is definitely a skin-tight garment. She isn’t showing much skin, something else I wondered.

Skeletor’s army has a control tablet that blows up the microwave because of its interferance. Why is Kevin putting Burger King trash in the sink?  But he is microwaving a fresh bucket of Robbie’s Ribs…

One of those nonsensical things you might miss if you don’t look for it. Probably Burger King paid for product placement. Another great question. Why hasn’t a Gwildor figure ever come with a bucket of ribs?

Evil Lyn leaves right as pink Cadillac arrives.  Classic 1980’s

Seems like this gag comes up in many movies. It is a classic.

Music Store destruction!   The music store scene has some of THE WORST acting

It’s true. So true. As a guitar player and musician, I looked closely at what kind of instruments were being destroyed. These are cheapies. I wonder if this was a set or an actual store somewhere. The shouted lines, the over-acted anxiety from He-Man to Gwildor to Karg. This is the hardest scene to watch.

Beast Man leads the stormtroopers.  Like twenty.

There are alot of extras under those costumes. Seeing Beast Man as a commander is a little bit different. He doesn’t speak, only growls and grovels in this movie. And yet the storm troopers (this is what they are, but it isn’t clear what their actual name is,) follow his lead. The guys in the air are called Air Centurions

Evil Lyn has a round ship.  Skeletor has a round ship.  The great eye of the galaxy is round.  Dumb design choices

Just pointing this out again. They did build a different Eternia for this movie. I get it. I suppose they didn’t want it to look like Star Wars or Star Trek, (both in peoples’ minds at the time.) I heard someone say that Gary Goddard wanted a New Gods story, disguised as Masters of the Universe. Maybe that’s why. From a filmography standpoint, and I am not an expert…this is the Christopher Reeves era, so the camera tricks to convince you that they are flying might have relied on that gimmick, where the rear view of the ship had to be obscured. (For some really bad Superman style flying effects, check out Robocop 3. Very cringy.)

One of the most heroic fights is when He-Man steals the centurion’s flying disc.  This movie so far has been kind of light on He-man solo action. But we see him use the blaster, lose the blaster.  Then use his sword to take out some guys.  When he lands to where Skeletor has his friends hostage, he throws like five stormtroopers off of him and grabs his sword, but then Skeletor blackmails him with the old “It’s you or your friends” routine.

He-man’s only true “weakness” is that he is bound to protect his friends.

He-man does indeed have half of a scabbard that hangs down awkwardly. He has no cape when Skeletor takes him away and you can see it well.  Also, what are those gems on his arms?

Teela remarks when He-Man throws down his sword. What is the story here? Does she know about Adam and He-Man at this point? Is it because it is easy access to Grayskull? Is it necessary to open The Great Eye of the Galaxy? That this is a power sword isn’t really addressed in this movie. It is hinted at. And He-Man does raise it for a “I have the power” moment in the movie, but does this give him more energy? Does the blast drive back enemies? Unclear.

Skeletor winces as He-man takes the beating.  A good detail.  It makes Blade seem more sadistic.  It reflects that Skeletor knows what that whip feels like.

Frank Langella was truly, truly a master in this role. This year he is 86 years old. I haven’t seen any other movies of his. But he really did Skeletor right. Menacing, calculating, diabolical. Also just over the top.

Gwildor has two strong ET moments. When he puts on the women’s clothing. And when he rigs up a cosmic key (like the communicator made from a speak n spell in ET).

That Kevin is a “master songmaker” kind of brings the high fantasy of “The universe is made of music” into realistic earth terms. Many people are musicians…this is something we can relate to. And every kid watching this movie would have a music class at school. This was the age of hair metal and synth pop. Guns-N-Roses was huge. Van Halen. Etc. And Hip-Hop. And every cartoon from He-Man and all of the upstarts underneath him had a theme song. And kids would sing those every day. This part of the movie makes the power everyones.

Some of Skeletor’s best acting is in the whip scene.  Also, he said He-Man’s friends should rot.  When a skeleton tells you this that hurts…but he also calls sorceress an old crone.  Her old-lady-look mirrors his sunken-in face look

The fight at the end where Skeletor declares himself a god.  Skeletor keeps zapping He-Man.  But he is seemingly indestructible.  Even the Darkseid eye beams.  When He-Man grabs his sword, we see it absorb Skeletor’s lightning. 

This tracks with the idea of the power sword being a conduit of the power, however this isn’t really talked about until later fandom, for instance The Four Horsemen designing the techno sword to harmonize with Grayskull.  

Skeletor draws the dark sword at the end of the fight, after He-Man breaks the Havoc Staff.

I brought this up because I asked the question “Did Skeletor even use this sword?” when I reviewed the movie figure. I didn’t remember when. This is the only time, when He-Man offers to save him.

The time paradox problem. He-Man’s armor is extra gold for the end

OK. Here goes. If Gwildor had the ability to send Julie and Kevin back in time, so that Julie could prevent her parents from crashing on the plane, then couldn’t this whole movie have been avoided? Evil Lyn duped him into giving up the Cosmic Key, but he had a prototype. So, why not go back in time and…tell himself not to fall for the trick? Tell himself how dangerous the Cosmic Key is? Or hire bodyguards? Or any number of solutions that would have by-passed the bulk of the movie. I suppose this is the problem of all time-travel movies.

Julie wakes up in a gown in her bed.  And walks down the stairs to her huge surprise…she can stop her parents!   But the way it is framed.  Like Christmas morning when you are going to get presents…this is the feeling of the scene!

As I watched this final scene, this was my thought. I mean, we just had Christmas here. And some of my fondest memories was going down the stairs on Christmas morning to find presents. 

Julie is wearing a frumpy gown…it looks a little bit juvenile for a teenager. These are the pajamas that kids are supposed to identify with. She sees her parents. And the smile, the reaction. Even if her parents go and fly…even if she goes with them this time. She has already made a difference in the timeline so that they won’t die. And what better present could there be?

But like I said…why?

“I’LL BE BACK!”

Sadly, Skeletor never got that return, did he. I remember talking to my friends. “When will He-Man 2 come out?” I was in denial that the movie wasn’t well received and He-Man was going underground. I lumped this sequel into the Back To The Future (Two sequels happened) category of possible movies. Rocky had tons of sequels. There were rumors of Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure sequels (This happened). There were rumors of Star Wars movies that would tell of Darth Vader becoming evil. (These were only rumors of children! Surely this would never happen. That would be too crazy!) But no He-Man movie ever came out again…or since. I became aware of “New Adventures,” and my younger brothers had He-Man and Slush Head. I disliked the different, wimpier design. I never watched the cartoon but once. But I jumped for Joy in my first year of marriage when they announced the trailer for 200x. I spent hours downloading that trailer over dial-up!

I just heard today on the ForEternia Podcast that the Netflix live-action movie that seemed to be the closest ever to a movie was just shelved. WHY?!