SQUEEZE…SpartanNerd Unboxing and Review

I remember being a kid, and going to the store.  It was likely “Sky City”, which was a department store that was big in Spartanburg before Wal-Mart moved in and started killing smaller retail businesses.  Anyways, my mom would generally get me and my brothers a He-Man guy, and they were usually under $5.   I remember this so well because Squeeze was one of the last figures I ever saw in a store for sale.  I never owned him…I think I walked out with Rio-Blast that day…and always the mystery of what Squeeze was all about lingered.

Until now!

Squeeze came in the regular box.   But…look how they had to cram him!


Why didnt I get this as a kid?   Probably was the mouth and head.

Here is the figure right out of the box.  You can see he has a lone accessory…a specially designed snake staff.   Squeeze has a stupid armor-bra, that is non-removable.  He has awesome spikes on his leg armor…one of his coolest and under appreciated features!   I am a big fan of the bright green, purple, orange, and silver coloring.   I still dislike the “alligator” head.
You can also see those incredible arms.

The arms make him triple in size, at least!

They are bendy, and can be posed and shaped however you like.  They hold their pose.  The shoulder is a ratchet joint.  So it clicks satisfyingly however you want.  His wrists swivel, and he has HUGE hands.   I’m glad we got hands instead of snake heads.  (Swappable hands would have been cool)


The arms have these qualities at a price, however.  Squeeze is so top heavy that his legs can’t really hold him up.  They can…but he never seems stable.   Mine has weak joints, making the problem worse.  AND the way the boots are designed, you can’t get the same range of motion as you can with other figures.


In the above pose, I have him propped against the backdrop.

His arms CAN help him stand and balance.   But it would have been better if the legs were stronger.  The more I played with Squeeze, the more I saw his hips get weaker as well as his knees.

His snake staff is different than the other snake mens’.  It is also kind of bendy, though it reminds me of a hammer a little bit too.

As mentioned in my last post, I got SQUEEZE along with several other figures in MattyCollector’s big closing sale.  I have played more with SQEEZE than any of the other figures.  And I think it is because of handy convenience.  You can do what you want with those arms, and then set it back down.

But I have lots of negative things to say.

The head is stupid.  Why no swappable 200x variant?  200x Squeeze was ugly too.  But not an alligator.  And along that line…why no swappable hands so we could have the 200x “Staction” look.  Squeeze was always ejecting snake projectiles out of his arms in the cartoon.  OK.  How about this…interchangeable normal arms?

But that was all WISHFUL THINKING.  What we have here is a weak-jointed MOTUC figure.  The shoulder joints are very tight and satisfying.  But the waist, torso, and knees are all loose joints, that get looser the more you play with it, and a problem exacerbated by the top heaviness of the arms.

And worse.  These are the worse ankles in any MOTUC figure as far as lacking articulation.  You can barely rock the feet back and forth.  BARELY.  the way the boot is designed, it keeps it from happening.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think this is fun.  But it is far from perfect as a figure.  I am going to give SQUEEZE a 2/5.  He has the spirit of what the vintage figure was all about.  But as an adult collector figure, we got hosed in the detail and articulation department.

So, the SpartanNerd gives Masters of the Universe Classics SQUEEZE a 2/5.  Do you agree or disagree?  Let me know in the comments!

 

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Multi-bot…SpartanNerd Unboxing and Review

Multi-Bot.  A Two-For-One!  SpartanNerd is a CHEAPSKATE.  Mattycollector is going out of business…Black Friday/Cyber Monday liquidation sale…40% off..FREE SHIPPING.  Super-7 is letting you pre-order Ram-Man for $35 (plus shipping).  Have you seen the Ultimate Edition figures?

I just said a ton of things…all related to the insane buying spree I had during the week from November 23-November 29 in 2016.

Truth is, Mattel doesn’t have that much left that I really want.  Not even badly enough even to buy at 40% off.  I sorted it out to what I emotionally wanted the most.  Wind Raider and Talon Fighter sold out too fast, as did the Hover Robots.  I grabbed Multi-Bot right away.  Before it was all over, I also had Tongue Lasher (my favorite Snake Man), Squeeeze-a figure I always wanted, and Extendar, who I always enjoyed as a child.

I might eventually pick up Rio Blast.  I might get Saurod and Blade.  I really like Lord Masque, but he hasn’t been marked down yet.  I considered Shakoti…she would go great with Lord Masque.    The only She-Ra I really like is Bubble Power, who is way too pink, but I know she can be modded back to look like her normal self.  (I despair that I can’t get Despara economically.)

Onto Multi-Bot.

First, you might check out my review of Modulok, a figure in the same vein as Multi-Bot.

Multi-Bot came in a brown mailer, along with the other figures I ordered in my haul.

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Opening Multi-Bot’s mailer reveals this classic style box.  I DO remember getting these figures in these boxes as a kid.  This makes Modulok and Multi-Bot the only figures you can’t actually see MIB.

You get lots of suggestions for building the Evil Robot of 1,001 Bodies.  Also, you can see other figures from the MOTUC line, and a bio.

I usually throw the packages away, but I made exception with Modulok, and will wil Mult-Bot as well.  The box is good storage for pieces you aren’t using, and look nice on display.

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Opening the box, you can see everything included with this figure these figures.  Like I said.  Two-for-one!

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The figure on the left is my favorite, with the motorcycle helmet look, and the clawed arms.  The figure on the left has a more alien look, with more human like arms and hands.  All of the legs have amazing sculpted details, and the figure features all of the articulation of the other figures.  (The legs are just rockers, rather than the “Vikor style” ankles.  But they serve the purpose well for this figure.

Multi-Bot also features WACKY colors.  As crazy as green, blue, and purple legs with orange and tan arms with a green and orange head sounds, it still works just like it did when I was a kid.  I have heard some criticism of this figure, that it needs more pain details on the legs and the mechanical bits.  I disagree.  As it is, it looks exactly like the vintage toy.

The parts snap off and on exactly like Modulok’s did, more or less, but this time the waist piece detaches from the torso, (Like Modulok’s should have done.)  You can basically make anything you want.  Below is the pose from the front of the box.  It took me, maybe, three minutes to analyze and get it together.

 

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But that’s boring.  Let’s do some crazy stuff!

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Two torsos tall.  Six legs.  Two headed monster.  What more could you ask for?

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I worked awhile on this one.  My idea was to place two torsos on one pair of legs.  With what we are given, you really just can’t.  I figured out who to combine two waist pieces, and then in order to accommodate the standing, it needed an extra set of legs.

I don’t show you, but the gun can combine from two into one.  (Just like Modulok’s)

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Do you see it?  Praying Mantis!  (I inverted one of the torsos and stuck legs in the arm holes.)

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Multi-Bot and Modulok can mix and match parts, creating the rarely considered MEGABEAST.

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Here is an amalgamation to strike fear into the enemies!  If you could get 1,000 bodies with Modulok, and 1,001 with Multi-Bot, you should be able to get…(wait for it.)….

OVER NINE-THOUSAND bodies for MEGABEAST.  (Capitalized for emphasis.)

I played with these toys for about two hours before doing the review.  After awhile, my pre-arthritic hands started to hurt from connecting and disconnecting parts.  The pieces are a little bit more rubbery than your regular figure.  I can’t bring myself to take off a point for that, though.  It may be more my problem than the product.

What could I wish for with this figure…We got plenty of connectors, some of which I haven’t even used yet!  BUT…the black piece seen above, with the two Multi-Bot heads on it…we have multiple of those.  They have a male bottom piece, and two female top pieces.  If Mattel had given us a few pieces that were reversed from that, we could get even more combinations.  I believe this to be a design flaw…the original figure came with exactly what I’m asking for as the main way of connecting the pieces.

Still, that is a pretty hard thing to look for and criticize.  This is a fantastic figure, and it has a future of fun ahead.

SPARTANNERD RATES MULTI-BOT A 5/5.  It is technically an improvement over Modulok, who was excellent!

 

SpartanNerd…Micro Reviews 1

New thing.  MICRO REVIEWS!

These posts will be brief summary thoughts concerning my feelings about various “nerdtainment” items.  This is becoming a necessity, as I am getting more content than I have time for a formal review.

 

SUICIDE SQUAD.  I promise, I will bring a full review after I see it a second time.  I saw this on opening weekend, and was impressed.  Very nice movie, that remained faithful to the comic book characters.  Harley Quinn stole the show…

 

HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: “THE THREE TERRORS” (Short Animation)…This is now available on iTunes, and I watched it today.  It is ten minutes of an attempt by Super7 to revive the Filmation style of animation.  This little cartoon hit it at about 80%.  Alan Oppenheimer still voices Skeletor, but he just doesn’t have the high pitches that he carried in his younger days.

 

SPEAKING OF SUPER7…I was shocked to hear of their takeover of MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE CLASSICS.  I think their small figure line is cute and interesting, maybe even worth the $5 a figure.  But I don’t own any…I am in the camp with many other fans that jittery times are ahead.  Why would Mattel pass that property?  I am glad Digital River is done.  Maybe shipping will be cheaper.

 

METALLICA: “HARDWIRED FOR DESTRUCTION”…This is the only track and also is the title track) released so far, for an album slated to release on November 18.  It’s about time!  The few reviews on iTunes so far compare the song to stuff on “Justice for All.”  I think the singing might be a little smoother than what was on “Death Magnetic,” but the band’s all around sound is about the same.  Robert Trujillo is KILLING that bass!

 

YOUNG JUSTICE…I began watching this again…I watched it last year.  What a great cartoon!  I wish more would happen.

 

DC COMICS: REBIRTH..I have been reading Batman as well as Robin, Son of Batman, and also I picked up All Star Batman.  So far, the most powerful story is the Batman book that came out this week.  Batman #5 dropped a couple of bombs, that they are going to kill Batman ONCE AGAIN.  And that Duke Thomas is going to marry Gotham Girl.

 

MAGIC THE GATHERING: CONSPIRACY-TAKE THE CROWN…The spoilers released so far have fans scratching their heads.  This set looks to bring more power and almost better reprints than Eternal Masters and Modern Masters 2015.  Very odd!

 

First Ever Micro-Reviews!  Let me know what you think in the comments!

 

 

SpartanNerd Review…He-Man: The Eternity War issues 12 and 13

Way back in November, I gave you my thoughts on the He-Man: The Eternity War story in issues 10 and 11.  Today, I bring you issues 12 and 13!

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I have read so many comics that NOTHING seems to happen in.  This hasn’t been the case with He-Man!  Each issue brings barbaric fighting, sci-fi goodness, high-fantasy magic, and the struggle for good to defeat evil.  The writers are giving us a great comic, with all-stops out!

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The two manifestations of The Goddess continue to battle it out.  The Sorceress of Serpos (Teela) and the Sorceress of Horokoth (Evil-Lynn) do this because the Sorceress of Zoar (…The Sorceress) was killed off by Skeletor way back at the beginning of this comic series.

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And while this epic confrontation wages, Skeletor has the power of Grayskull, and is making his own weapon out of Hordak’s sword and the Havoc staff at the Forge of Grayskull.  As he hammers away, planets are exploding out in the universe!

(The Forge of Grayskull is a repetitively used plot device in this series.  The writers have tied the power He-Man has to the forge, because it’s fire comes from the Star Seed…us long time fans know this as “the spark of creation.”)

Planets exploding…this strikes another nerve, as I just left my second viewing of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

It is also remarked that the souls of all of the people killed as these worlds explode are feeding Skeletor’s power.  Pretty scary.

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Remember that scene where He-Man was Naked?  Evidently, the writers were showing us He-Man stripped down in his psyche.  The next scene shows what is going on in Adam’s head.

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We saw this scene before, but in that scene Keldor encouraged Adam.  We are seeing the memory corrupted by King Hssss.  And Adam doesn’t appear consistent in his mind…notice how as he fights, he suddenly was older and had the battle axe.

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He continues to change…

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And then is a psychological He-Man.  The axe is significant.  The is the He-Man inside of Adam, and he doesn’t need the power of gray skull.

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Adam encounters someone else in his mind as he goes deeper to protect his psyche from King Hsss.  His suppressed love for Teela is just at the top level of his sub-conscience.

And now for a HOLE IN THE PLOT.  Wasn’t Teela a blonde in this comic?  They even made a big deal about her dying her hair to red!

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Adam’s memory of Teela tells him to fight with all he has to protect a deeply hidden but crucial memory.  A memory shielded from even himself…It is represented by this little rock thing.  But then under attack by Hsss, Adam drops it and it shatters.  And then we had to wait for Issue 12!

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Issue 12 starts off with She-Ra fighting to get to Grayskull, and having a hard time slaying Skeletor’s Dark Riders…basically phantom skeleton warriors.

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She figures it out by suddenly knowing “Sword to Shield!”  I didn’t think they would use She-Ra’s sword-transformations in this comic.  The sword became  basically a sharp ended force-field.  COOL!

I am missing some pictures and am too lazy to re-take (after seeing Star Wars until 12:30 last night.)  Something that happened off panel was Man-At-Arms planting a bomb in Tri-Clops visor while he was “talking too much”.  And so that explodes, killing Tri-Clops and blowing a hole in Castle Grayskull/Fright Zone’s shields.

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And now back to what is going on in Adam’s head.  Adam is running towards the crashed Wind Raider…we saw this before…

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The memory is of the event that was recorded in He-Man and the Masters of the Universe #19, which was sub-titled “Prelude to the Eternity War.”  This comic was a whole year ago!  And King Hsss is working hard to corrupt this memory…a memory so deep and yet so vital to who He-Man is.  In the memory, Adam as a child, taps into the power of gray skull in order to save Randor from death.  Apparently a hidden ability of the power of gray skull is the ability to control time.  And so, the word “eternity” makes sense.  The Sorceress and Zodac decided to allow Adam to briefly tap the power as a child to save Randor, so long as he “forgot” what he did, as well as how he did it.  That fundamental moment proves that Adam IS He-Man, with or without a power sword.

Man-At-Arms is apparently not dead after all, but seriously wounded in the chest.  As he comes around, he sees Adam having inner conflict, saying things that don’t make sense, etc.  And then he sees Adam grab the remnants of the power sword and cut himself open!

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I always thought King Hsss devoured his victims like he did in the 200x cartoon.  Now we see how he does it for real…and it is SOOO much creepier.  Instead of swallowing them whole, (which kind of doesn’t make sense…) he goes into the body and consumes it from the inside.  All the while also consuming their psyche and becoming that person for real.  He is the Master of Dissssguisssse.

And before he took control of Adam he was Mendor…(I thought their must be something suspicious about Mendor…his name ends with an “-OR.”  Clearly he was a bad guy!) As Mendor, he treated all of the snake men, and caused them to be “seeded with his venom.”  Which apparently meant they would self destruct when he died.

So King Hsss dies, as does the Eternian army.(Because they are the same thing.)

In a matter of issues we have seen two entire armies wiped out…the Horde Troopers and the Snake Men.  Never say “nothing happened” in a Masters of the Universe comic!

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The memory of Randor gives Adam some clarity.  But let’s remember, Adam is dying…he just cut himself open…

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We interrupt that very important drama with even more important drama.  Skeletor outlines his evil plan to the world.  He has tapped the Star Seed.  She-Ra is down.  Hordak is conquered.  As the chosen one of Horokoth, Skeletor aims to destroy ALL life.  And then rule the chaos that comes after.

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Finally we see the image of Skeletor transformed with the power of Grayskull.  It appears that as before, he is combined with the Havoc staff.  Or maybe I’m wrong about that.

There are definite movie overtones here.  Remember Skeletor becoming “god.”  (Also the actors changed from Frank Langella to Anthony DeLongis.)

And as he appears, in Adam’s final moments…

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He taps into the power of Grayskull as the chosen one of both Serpos and Zoar!  It appears now that Adam is either re-born, or maybe healed.  And now he is a supercharged version of He-Man!  (We also saw some of this pre-viewed in the art book.

The art book seems to give us a few more hints of what’s to come.  But for now, I am perfectly happy with how things have gone!  This is the greatest Masters of the Universe story ever told!

Do I even need to bother giving them a 5/5?  I think my readers already know that!

SpartanNerd thoughts…He-Man and the Eternity War Issues #10 and #11

I said way back in my 250th blog post that I would be posting a review of Issue #10.  My apologies, readers…life has kept me away from the blog.  And that is going to continue, it seems.  I find blogging to be a relaxing thing, so, I will do it when I can relax.

I think I’ll start with this photo…

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What….These two comics inspired me to produce and take this photo.  (Never realized how hard it is to put an alternate head on King Hsss….)

The events leading up to issue #10 and #11…

Basically, the Horde conquered Eternia.  Hordak had the Fright Zone infect the land, as he acquired the power of Grayskull and seemed to be bringing about the “Age of Horokoth”.  (He used the blood of Grayskull to resurrect his body…previously his spirit was trapped inside a robot life-support casket.)  He forged his own sword of power, etc.

The masters made allies with the Snake Men, who worship the Green Goddess (Teela) as the Sorceress of Serpos.  He-Man decided to eschew the power of Grayskull and only use the power of Adam…bad move, because apparently King Hsss…devoured him off-panel.  (So the main character of He-Man and the Eternity War has been killed….????)

Basically, Skeletor double crosses She-Ra into healing him from his missing jaw, and then uses the power of the Havoc Staff and the Well of Darkness to break into Hordak’s chamber of souls on Despondos.  He steals the souls and leaves She-Ra there stranded with the souls of those she executed as Despara.  Skeletor then teleports back to Eternia, unleashes those souls, which happen to re-possess their physical bodies (which are Horde Troopers,) and they mutiny.  He uses this moment of distraction to kill Hordak with his Horokoth Sword of Power.  (The moment I shouted for joy!  I’ve never been a big fan of the Horde.)  Also along the way, Evil-Lynn became the Sorceress of Horokoth.  Meaning now there are two sorceresses.

Which brings us to Issue 10.

The front cover…

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It has been hinted for quite some time that Skeletor was going to acquire the power of Grayskull.  This is why it seemed so odd that Hordak acquired it first.  And he acquired it in a very backhanded way…

I have this theory…I believe the writers are playing with the toys.  In fact, I think they might be basing their stories on their old childhood versions of the stories, or similar.

Skeletor holding a power sword wearing He-Man’s armor.  This is a strong hint.  I went and tried to duplicate this photo.  But I didn’t get a picture.  It totally works, especially if you give him the pink Prince Adam sword. (However, I don’t have a blue body with gold bracers and a gold belt.)

It was hinted back in the art book…some of the images they released showed Skeletor transformed, and also had his transformation words, “Cry Havoc!  I am Skeletor!”

We are seeing how that story unfolds.

Onto the plot.

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Basically, Prince Adam (actually King Hssss) is inspiring the masters and the Snake Men to attack the Horde.

King Hsss/Adam is wearing the traditional battle armor of the Snake Men, a supposed way to inspire them.  But we, as readers see King Hsss really flaunting who he secretly is.

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Next we see an exchange between Skeletor and Evil-Lynn.  Doesn’t she look cool!

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And now for something random.  Who is this mysterious soldier?  “War Wraith.”  And from my picture earlier, you see why I was inspired to do what I did!  The War Wraith looks incredibly like Evil-Seed.  And I thought he was until Skeletor used his name.

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And then something else we’ve never seen.  Evil-Lynn weeping.  A very spiritual thing this time.  Evidently as a manifestation of the Goddess, she reacts to things happening in the universe.  I’m reading a parallel here to what the Green Goddess (Teela) did when guiding Despara to the point of drawing He-Man’s blood, an act that would ultimately result in the resurrection of Hordak.  This seems out of character.  But it is the way her newfound power is effecting her.  Skeletor isn’t moved, of course.  Except for in the same way the SpartanNerd is moved when the females are crying.  Angry.  I know it isn’t normal, but its true.

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Next, the action cuts to the Masters using the Dragon Walkers to attack Grayskull.  A ridiculous idea.  If Dragon Walkers were real, they would be the clumsiest, stupidest kind of tank ever invented.  They were fun toys, though!  It is interesting that the details of the story mention the gear that makes them work.  More evidence that the writers have been playing with the toys…that gear was a highly noticeable part of the toy.

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And then we see the War Wraith flying on a Roton sniping snake men.  Very cool.  Who was this guy, I asked myself while reading.  He never appeared in any lore previous to now?

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A couple of pages over, and we see the Green Goddess Teela rescue She-Ra.  Divine intervention was basically the only way that could happen.  Deus Ex Machina, right?

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The Dragon Walkers (predictable) couldn’t do the job on the Fright Zone, so Moss Man does it.  He jumps out of the Wind Raider, and face-plants in a “Wrath of God” moment, sacrificing himself.  More Divine Intervention!

(At this point, the comic has a steep death toll.  I think I’ll do a death count on main characters the writers have killed off so far.  We can add Moss Man, again.)

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In the moments after while everyone is celebrating their victory, King Hss/Adam is experiencing pain.  Lots of pain, so he sneaks off for a moment of privacy.  But Rattlor follows him and lets on that he knows the secret, so King Hsss. blasts him with energy, killing him.  (Another main character killed off.)

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After this moment of pain and killing Rattlor, King Hiss/Adam is kicked in the head from behind by the War Wraith, who arrived just barely too late to discover the truth evidently.  He then takes off his mask to reveal his identity as …. Duncan!  (Man-At-Arms)!

Before moving on to Issue 11, which just came out this week, and I just read, let me tell you Hub City Geeks.  I read this book OVER AND OVER.  You might recall that I thought Issue 8 was terrible.  That was a low point.  This issue is a high point however, and Issue 11 is even greater!  (Issue 9 had the Skeletor killing Hordak moment.)

Man-At-Arms has often been made into a bad guy.  But not for Skeletor.  Usually it is a Snake Man.  The only thing that I don’t get is why did they make him look so much like Evil Seed?  This is where I think they were playing around with the toys and maybe head swapping or something, and decided Evil Seed’s armor was pretty cool for Duncan.  In my picture at the beginning, you see I only have the classic Man-At-Arms with a mustache.  (Yes, I have the non mustache head.)  But I don’t have the 200x head without the helmet, so that is as close as I could get.

Onto Issue 11.  The best one yet!  And I can tell I will likely read this one over and over as well.

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The cover shows Man-At-Arms coming out of the shell that was Roboto.  He is holding a blaster as well as his classic mace.

The colors evoke the split personality of Man-At-Arms.  And he is in a target.  Well, that is the First Person Shooter mode of Tri-Clops!

What you need to know is that previously, like, several issues ago, Man-At-Arms was the first Eternian is space.  He retrofitted Roboto into a space suit with life-support, and went into space to destroy Horak’s version of Supreme Verdict, the “Orbital Disrupter.”  however, by the end of the issue, Man-At-Arms and Roboto were plummeting to the surface in a ball of fire.  And until Issue 10, we hadn’t heard from either of them.  Issue 11 tells us the story.

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Robots used all of his energy to protect Man-At-Arms with a type of force field.  He said he had to sacrifice himself because his persona had the personality traits given to him by Duncan.

So basically, Roboto is another character killed off.

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And here comes Tri-Clops.  We’ve seen Tri-Clops working with Hordak recently.  He takes advantage of his new opportunity.

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So Man-At-Arms just destroyed the Orbital Disrupter, fought off an army of Horde satellite drones, re-entered the atmosphere, suffered an emotional loss of Roboto, and STILL can kick the crap out of Tri-Clops.  That’s awesome!

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Here is a total toy moment.  Every kid knows that Tri-Clop’s sword was WAY COOLER than anyone else’s.  Even He-Man’s.  Now the writers have been giving Man-At-Arms Tri-Clops’ sword.!

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And here is a big “duh” moment for Duncan.  Of COURSE Tri-Clops was blind under that visor…

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And Tri-Clops “duh” moment.  Duncan talks too much.  (He always did.)

And I get another shout for joy moment!  SLIME PIT TIME!

Skeletor says “Spare me the lecture.  I know how it works.  I helped design it!”  Duncan is getting slimed .  OH YEAH.  Into a ZOMBIE for SKELETOR.  KA BAAAMMMM!!!!

The Slime Pit was always a toy that I loved to play with.  But my mom wouldn’t let us play with the slime.

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And then we see how Skeletor is going to get the blood of Grayskull.  He is going to literally drain Hordak’s blood!  The cool thing they’ve done with Hordak is make him into a celestial vampire.  He was empowered by the souls of those he slew or led to their death for him.  Now Skeletor is becoming more of a literal vampire.  AND we get to see him without his hood.

And then back to the War Wraith.  “Skeletor sends his regards.”

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Duncan seems to be a total convert to Skeletor’s ways.  He has no mercy on who he thinks is Prince Adam.

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And he’s just about to slay him, when….

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We interrupt this murder with a message from the Goddess and She-Ra, who both are flying on Swift Wind and talking.

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So Evil-Lynn can’t have all this happiness.  She busts up in front of Swifty.

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And then transforms into a bat, the symbol of Horokoth.  It appears, however that Teela the Green Goddess can transform into Serpos, the Snake God from 200x.

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An intense elemental battle between forces of the universe.  Now if only Zoar were to appear…

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Nope.  Back to the other battle.  Of Course, King Hsss. wasn’t going to be bested by a zombified Man-At-Arms.  He transforms and then kills Duncan.  And then more of that pain happens.

And another strong hint that the writers are playing with the toys and getting inspired to write the characters after them.

As King Hsss fights to suppress Prince Adam’s essence, which is fighting inside of him, he explodes in a burst of energy and becomes…

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NAKED!

(Recently there was a figure of Oo-Lar, the Jungle He-Man, who is all nude except for his furry shorts.  He’s even barefooted.)

I can’t wait to see what happens next!

You see, it has been raining like crazy.  I don’t really have anything to do except work and read comics when I get the chance, or maybe mess around with Magic cards.

I give both of these comics a 5/5.  I believe the writers are MOTU fans.  And I believe they are trying hard to give us an adult comic.  They have tastefully set aside some of the things about MOTU that people call “silly”, and created a darker, edgier, more modern story and are doing things with the characters that haven’t been done before.  Sometimes even taking inspiration from things seldom used before.  (Like the Slime Pit.)

Hope to be back soon with a review of the new Masters of the Universe Mini Comics Collection!

SpartanNerd Review…Masters of the Universe MAGAZINE ISSUE #2 (Vintage Review)

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You gotta love small business!  Daniel Macabee, owner of the Tangled Web in Spartanburg SC, picked this up with ME in mind. It was very much appreciated…he sold it to me for a fair price, and it came with an extra “The Menace of the Evil Horde” mini comic, one of the rarest ever printed!  (Daniel cares enough about my interests to find the right items, is my point.  Does Wal-Mart care.  Nope!)

As a child, I received this magazine as a part of a Publishers Clearing House subscription, I’m sure.  I remember spending lots of time staring at the pages.  I removed the posters, but my mother wouldn’t let us hang them.  Basically these, like all of our books, became narfed up to the point of being trash worthy only.

I love that I have a chance as an adult to re-visit what this was all about.  And as with all of my vintage comics reviews, I will also talk about the ads.

The cover of the book, (above) shows Skeletor and He-Man battling, with Skeletor prominently seated on Spydor.  The cover is an Earl Norem painting…he did all of the covers for He-Man and the Masters of the Universe Magazines.  (But not She-Ra.)  He also did the posters that came inside.

What you can’t see is Moss Man in the picture.  The UPC code etc caused him to be cropped out.

Turning the page, you are greeted with your first ad.

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An ad for the SECRET WARS toys.  I had a few of these as a kid.  These were my introduction to Wolverine and to Spider-Man with a black costume.  I had forgotten about the trick shield until recently, when the current Secret Wars comics printed variant covers that mocked these vintage toys.

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One thing about the MOTU magazine, it functioned as a sort of pseudo social network for He-Man fans.  There are letters printed throughout the issue.

Prominently featured here is the instructions for removing the posters inside without damaging the magazine.  Do you think I removed the posters?  NO WAY!  Doing so would remove some of the other content of the magazine, which bothered me back in the day as much as it does now.  As a kid, did I follow these instructions?  Nope.  (I just jerked the posters out, leaving obvious holes where the staples were.)

What better way to start a MOTU magazine than with a letter from He-Man himself?  Here he just summarizes what’s ahead in the book.

Then we get our next ad when we turn the page.

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You are supposed to do this puzzle…so now we are removing pages, AND writing in our prized magazine.  Total sacrilege.

This ad reminds me of the “decoder pen” in the movie “The Christmas Story.”  I do think it does a good job of emphasizing the tactile nature of Oreos.  I think I’ll eat one now…

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The official table of contents.  This reminds me of the font list you see on a word processing program, like Microsoft Word or Apple’s Pages.  Nowadays the font list tries to give you an idea of what the font looks like.

Each line of the tale of contents contains a different color and font.  In some classes about doing word processing, the teachers told us that we shouldn’t do this…that it is “tacky.”  I guess a bunch of kids interested in Stinkor might not be so concerned about how “tacky” things look.

Besides this, you can also see little snips of the art in the different sections of the book.

This document pre-dates modern word processing.  All of this would have been cut and pasted by hand.  That’s impressive!

Also, do you notice the lack of photographs?  Earl Norem said in his interview with He-Man.org that at the time, it was more expensive to print photographs than use drawn or painted art.  Doesn’t that seem backwards by today’s standards?  (Notice the ads thought generally feature cartoon art, like the Oreo ad for instance.)

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Letters from the fans.  Each one of these sings the praises of He-Man.  Many kids say something like they want to help He-Man defeat Skeletor.  Some of them have kids art…quite an honor.

We get a promotional ad for the magazine we are reading….

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Four issues for $6.00.  WOW!

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Some older kids wrote letters in on this page.  One kid seems a little ashamed, mentioning that he is fifteen years old.  That would make him about eight years older than the SpartanNerd.  I hope he is still interested.

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Another ad.  This one for Nerds.  It features a contest.  And REAL photos.  I think its comical some of the prizes offered.  First prize is a massive Sony stereo system, with a record player.  Second prize is a CORDLESS PHONE.  Third prize a canon camera that needed REAL FILM.  Fourth prize a Nerds watch.  With prize a bag.  Sixth prize a Nerds stamp.

Last time I checked, Raspberry and Blueberry flavors are still on the shelves…

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Remember me talking about this being a social network sort of…

Here are some articles of interest for the kiddies.  I have never seen the first book, or the second one.  I’d forgotten about the movie “Baby.”  I remember it being sad somehow at the end, however.  Basically they find Baby stranded from its Brontosaurus mother.  Light years before Jurassic Park.

The animal trainer seems familiar.

I don’t remember the ghost movie.

Braingames.  On HBO.  This was early edutainment.  This would evolve into Dora the Explorer and similar.

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Behind these pages we can see the poster.  I am showing you that mine is still intact, and will remain that way!  Here are digital images of the two posters.

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Now here’s an interesting feature.  And yet another social network outlet.  They intended to feature a kid each month who did something heroic.  They would call this featured person, “He-Man of the Issue.”

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Floating Visions.  If you can’t tell what these are without tilting the magazine, maybe you are into the Thundercats instead….

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A featured story.  I would point out that some of this has poster behind it.  So if you sacrifice the magazine for the poster, you lose some of the story.

The artwork is interesting.  The color scheme here is more feminine than we usually see with He-Man stuff.  I wonder if this artist went on to color She-Ra books?

This is a story that glosses over major details and skips to the point.  Heroic warriors are captured.  Skeletor attacks Grayskull.  He-Man wins.

As a teacher, I see something else now.  The reading level of this story is on par with a seven year old.  Important because of what follows.

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The Duke of Lorin is an almost fan-fiction short story.  Not a graphic novel…this is meant for a higher reading level.  Maybe an eleven or twelve year old.  The border that surrounds the story is fantastic!

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As an adult looking in the rear view mirror, Create a Character means something else.  Mattel used this magazine to solicit kids to CREATE A CHARACTER near the end of the line.  (Eventually we would have the Fearless Photog) The goofy feature here isn’t the same thing.  It’s more of a paper-dolls activity.

OK.  So we are supposed to write in the book to solve the OREO puzzle.  Remove the posters.  And now cut out pieces of paper doll.  EEEK.

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The next feature got me at first.  It appears to be a battle scene.  The kind of thing you see everyday on Eternia.  But then you look closely and see how silly it is.  man-At-Arms has a plunger!  Battle cat is a house cat sized animal. Evil-Lyn is carrying a LIGHT BULB.

I’ll let you find the rest!

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There is another little ad.  Choose Your Adventure.

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Another way to mutilate the book.  Work this word-search.

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The Secret of the Sword movie was coming out soon, and She-Ra would be unleashed on all of the little girls.  (Boys too, it turns out.)

Notice that the Evil Horde gets a mention here, but the enemies featured are Skeletor’s baddies.

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The back of the magazine has this ad for a hot-wheels train.  No electricity required.  This time a photo.  It has something to do with being on the back cover, which is the same sheet as the front cover.

The ad prominently attacks the electric train industry by pointing out how much better it is to roll the trains yourself by hand.  You might not remember, but back in 1985, electric trains were all the rage with kids.  Including the SpartanNerd.

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I mentioned that there was a little extra.  This is the real thing!  Manteca and the Menace of the Evil Horde!

I really enjoyed my trip down memory lane.  Thanks for reading, oh Hub-City Geeks.