Deck the Halls will Boughs of Cobra. Cobra La la laa, la lah la laaa.

Beautifully done, chorus teacher SpartanNerd. I ordered this as a part of the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales on Super7.com. It had been a long time since I ordered one of the Ultimates. Back when they did the Masters of the Universe Classics, I got Ram Man, and if I reviewed him, the post has been deleted because it got NO VIEWS. Come on, Hub City Geeks. Send some love! Ram Man was nice, but I don’t have him anymore. He was given up with the great purge that got me into the Mega Bloks/Construx/MEGA figures.

But I saw this figure earlier in the year and wanted it immediately. I didn’t bite then, though. Same problem as before. Where is the room? My sad little shelf is way overstuffed now. And I surely can’t go into collecting GI Joe’s. (I think if I did, I would go for collecting the vintage ones.)

But I bought it anyway. It was on sale. I figured to keep it in box beside Cobra Commander. (A similar thought pattern went into purchasing GI Joe Classified Series Sgt. Slaughter from GameStop.)

The Cobra B.A.T. came in a very nice package. I was totally floored at how nice this was! After opening Sgt. Slaughter, no comparison. This sleeve leaves me with a dilemma. I want the figure on display. But this part of the box, wow! It has this foil coloring, with Cobra blue camouflage designs, and silver outlines. Just this much did it for me. This puts Mattel’s MOTUC packaging to shame, and definitely puts the Hasbro windowless box to shame! When you remove the sleeve, you can see the figure still in a nice box, and you can read the details on the back. The back has this cartoonish robot feature with a screen that gives us what serves as a bio card for the Cobra B.A.T. Not a single person who purchased this would not know what the B.A.T… is about. But I paid $36 for this figure, and felt right away upon opening it that I was receiving a premium treatment. (Recently, the MEGA Snake Mountain box has underwhelmed me.)

As we continue, it becomes apparent that this is a collector-friendly package. You just slide out what turns out to be TWO LAYERS of blisters. This guy has alternate hands, a pistol, a machine gun, two backpacks (one traditional and another a barrel-shaped container), an alternate damaged head, and a spark damage effect.

He stands tall with no problem. He is tall and posable. In fact, it is just about exactly like the Masters of the Universe Classics figures. The pistol pic below was no problem to pose him into. His damage effects are also really cool…On the cartoons Cobra’s disposable army were really easy to beat up. I will say that I had trouble removing the clear chest piece in order to plug in the spark damage effect. Turns out there is a tiny little tab for you fingernail hiding behind the grenade strap. (Those grenades are not removable as far as I can tell.). The traditional backpack has holes that you can use to store his arm attachments or extra hands. The barrel has room for stuff, but contains some purple spark things. There is a silver feature on his right thigh that I am unsure of the function. It isn’t a holster. (He has a holster for the pistol on his right thigh.). I think this must be from the vintage designs or something. Nothing seeps to peg into that, and I haven’t found any pics on the internet showing it used for something. I like to think it is a communicator or a charging station or battery or something.

His arm attachments are a futuristic gun, a claw hand, and a drill. He comes with open hands, trigger fingers, and fists, and these are in a detailed style as well as in a more plain cartoon accurate style. These are alot of hands! I will say the peg joint in the neck is slightly loose, while everything else is very tight. The pegs on the arm attachments and hands might be too tight….

The backpacks attach by pegs that resemble straps. They peg in to the shoulders. I always feel that I have to force them just the tiniest bit.

The plastic on this guy feels pretty good. Maybe a little soft, which is surprising because the joints are so tight.

Here I have him posed with the GI Joe classified figures. You would think the scale discrepancy would be jarring, but in this case it really isn’t. Maybe Cobra Commander is a Napoleon type? Maybe Battle Android Troopers should be on the taller and bigger side. Sgt. Slaughter’s beefy sculpt offsets the tallness of the B.A.T. (What are the sparks in the barrel backpack? They are like sharp “devil-heads” and can be removed). The photos don’t show it much, but the Super7 figure does have larger feet and legs. I used the box background card (also removable!) to take the classic pic that looks like a vintage cardback. By the way. Why don’t GI Joe Classified figures contain this feature?

Below shows two more comparisons. Here with the few MOTUC figures I have left, you can see he really does fit right in as far as size is concerned. Of course he would fall to the barbaric awesomeness of Vikor and Despara. Check out how close he fits with Sir Lazer Lot.

Just for fun, I put him with the Snow Cat and Frostbite, and you can see how big he is compared to the vintage stuff. You get a “frost giant” kind of story.

I was having so much fun posing him and swapping the parts and taking pictures. And then it was time to put him back in the box. I thought to put the hands back the way they were when I opened it. And then…SNAP.

Just like that. I had another childhood memory. How many GI Joes, Corps figures, and others suffered such a fate? This really stung. After all that positivity, something had to go south. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough? Maybe it’s something more problematic, like cheap soft plastic. These pegs are really tight. But the hands are supposed to be swappable as a feature of the toy, and I can’t say for certain, but I bet they swap with other ultimate figures or MOTUC figures like Trap Jaw and Roboto who have a similar gimmick. I was able to soften it with a hair dryer and dig out the peg with a tiny screwdriver. But man. This really burns. He came with other hands, so it isn’t the end of the world. Only a little sad. And sadness should not go with this hobby.

I had my eye on an Ultimate King Conan the Barbarian with the Throne of Aquilonia. I mean, this made me think twice. (I caved and ordered it just before typing all this even though this tragedy is in my mind.)

So, it is time to grade.

My chorus teacher self wants to give this figure an A-. A 91. I wanted him earlier in the year. Waiting paid off as I got him much cheaper. His packaging was stellar. He went right back in the box and that sleeve went right over for future fancy feeling. He has tons of accessories and posing options. The joints feel good. He looks good.

The only negative would be the breakable nature of the peg on the forearm. Still, I am giving him a 5/5. It would have to be like 4.8/5, though. Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Have you had similar issues with Super7’s ultimates figures? Do you think my issue should sully the experience of this guy too badly? Should I cancel my order for Conan? Let me know in the comments.