Tag Archives: GI Joe Classified Series

GI Joe Classified Beach Head (Retro Cardback)

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See Reviews of Zarana, Jinx, Tunnel Rat, and Law and Order at SpartanNerd.com

See the video review of this product here

I am on a roll picking up the Rawhides subgroup of GI Joes from the 1987 movie. I have Jinx, Tunnel Rat, Law and Order, and now their drill sergeant, Beach Head. (I need to get Lt. Falcon, Big Lob, and Chuckles, if anyone is counting).

I saw this Retro Cardback Beach Head at LT Toys in Columbia SC, and decided it was the perfect time to get one of the GI Joe Classified Series Retro Cardback figures.

As this is my first one, lets take a hard look at the package, which should be a bigger deal than the normal Classified Series stuff.

I mean…it looks like a toy from the 1980’s in modern collectors sensibilities. I have seen a few of these warming the pegs at Walmart…usually Cover Girl or Scarlett. I don’t know why the lady figures don’t sell so well? I seem to enjoy quite a few over the past couple of years. Back to Beach Head, you have a nice illustration with the classic explosion behind him. You can see the figure very well in his bluster bubble, as well as all of his accessories. Really…holding this in hand also brings back some memories. Let’s flip it over…

On the surface, it looks like a cardback from the 1980’s, but dig a little bit to see some differences. There is cross sell art, which is similar, but I don’t know who these characters are, and it doesn’t say who. The bio takes up most of the cardback, and I remember being a kid and cutting these out, only for them to usually get thrown away probably by my mom. She was generally against us having GI Joes by the way. Terrified of guns or that we would join the army. I have an uncle who almost made it to general, and so there we go…another draw towards the military that I am pretty sure scared her to death. I never joined up, but I strongly considered after 9/11. However, my son did go into the infantry, and worries US to death.

Back to the cardback…this bio barely gives us any information. Instead, we get a little bit in five languages. I absolutely think they should print this for other languages…that isn’t what I am saying. I wish a more fleshed out bio wasn’t sacrificed for the real estate on this card it takes to print five languages. (If they did print a different card for each language, that is even more incentive for people to chase down the variants…just saying!)

I love this package enough to keep the cardback. Important to note, it isn’t a collector’s friendly package. I used a pocket knife to cut the blister off without damaging the card. I saw where it is possible to use a hairdryer. I’ll keep the card with any others I pick up and keep using it as a diorama for YouTube videos, etc.

WHAT DO WE GET IN THE PACKAGE?

  • Beach Head Figure
  • Backpack
  • Bandolier
  • Pair of daggers
  • Crossbow
  • Pair of tear gas grenades
  • Pistol with silencer
  • Submachine gun (Demro XF-7 Wasp?)
  • Figure Stand

I kind of thought the retro-cardback style was another way to sell the core characters to nostalgia chasers, and use less plastic (parts and accessories). But that doesn’t seem to be the case with Beach Head. This is pretty much the exact same thing I would have expected from the more classic Classified Series packaging.

FIGURE REVIEW

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Cobra Commander and Retro Cardback Beach Head

Beach Head has all of the same articulation you would expect. BUT my example has a stiff right knee that has a top joint that doesn’t want to move. I used the hair dryer and got it to go, but it is still very stiff. Otherwise he has a ball-jointed head on a posable neck, butterfly joints on the shoulders, bicep swivels, double jointed elbows, swivel wrists with rubbery hands. Ab crunch, waist twist, ball jointed hips, double jointed knees, boot cut shins, rocker ankles. Everything you would expect from a Classified Series figure.

Beach Head is wearing what I would describe as riot gear, however he is clearly an Army Ranger. He has this rubber flack jacket and ammo utility belt. There are red details on the shoulders which I believe are padding because of the weight of this armor and backpack, but it also could be some kind of storage. He has a poster for his pistol, which has a silencer also. There are sheaths for his two daggers…this is very welcome considering that Law and Order didn’t come with a sheath. He doesn’t have a proper way of storing the crossbow or machine gun on his armor.

His sculpt is very good. Mostly this is a uniform sculpt, like the recent Jinx figure I reviewed. You aren’t seeing a lot of human figure, but instead are seeing the costume. In the case of Beach Head, his most iconic look is this look. Military uniform from head to toe, always wearing a ski mask. But it is a great sculpt. You can see the elastic details on his shirt, the ridges on his mask, and the pants look like natural pants. (These have been used before…Sergeant Slaughter has the same pants and deco)

The paint is an area I thought this retro cardback figure might skimp on. It’s true that the accessories could use more paint, but the figure doesn’t seem to have suffered. All of the paint on this figure is well done. There is some of the “molded in colored plastic” effect that does some of the work.

Beach Head inspects the Rawhides. PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Jinx, Law, and Tunnel Rat. MIA Lt. Falcon, Big Lob, and Chuckles. I have a feeling I will be getting Big Lob soon…

You can see in the above photo that Beach Head, being from the Retro Cardback, isn’t the least bit worse than the other three.

ACCESSORIES

Beach Head is absolutely loaded. I believe his best accessory is the submachine gun. BUT…it needs more paint apps. It’s true that it captures what the vintage figure came with. But like I said before, it is in the accessories where the paint apps are lacking. This machine gun has a muzzle break and a magazine, both removable. And his hands are very rubbery, allowing you to pose him holding it without problems. Notable, this figure did not come with alternate hands like so many others, but these rubbery hands are a good workaround. This gun, reportedly a Demro FX-7 Wasp, isn’t normally military. I looked it up, and it was possibly used in Vietnam, where actually American military issued weapons were not allowed. But in general, this is more of a police weapon.

PICTURED: All GI Joe Classified Series figures. Cold Slither (Dreadnoks Zartan, Buzzer, Torch, and Ripper), Zarana, and GI Joe Beach Head.

His pistol is average for GI Joe. The bandolier…I am told that this pouch thing he is holding is just that. It holds three ammo cans. You can attach the tear gas grenades to it also. his backpack appears to have the arrows for the crossbow sculpted in. Internet research says that this backpack has a mine detector.

PICTURED: Turtles of Grayskull Skull-Shredder vs. GI Joe Classified Shooter and Beach Head. It looks like they have him with their pistols, but we all know it won’t be that simple…Also pictured my favorite cover of Turtles of Grayskull #1 and the most recent Energon Universe GI Joe story, where the Joes recruit Roadblock. (was that a spoiler?)

SPARTANNERD RATING OF GI JOE CLASSIFIED RETRO CARDBACK BEACH HEAD

  • Sculpt- Point
  • Paint- Point
  • Accessories- Point
  • Articulation- Taking a point off because of his knee issues
  • the feels point- You know it!

Yeah, Beach Head gets the feels point all day because of that special scene in the 1987 GI Joe movie. I recently watched it again just because that movie is awesome…I had it on Beta Max when I was a little kid and watched this movie all of the time…easily once a week. But the best scene in the movie isn’t Nemesis Enforcer, or even the opening music video (though that is undeniably awesome). It is the scene between Jinx and Beach Head. And I am going to write my feelings right now, and you’ll know why I needed Beach Head so much, and also why he gets the Feels Point, even though the SpartanNerd is a Cobra fan.

First of all, Beach Head is inspecting the new recruits, dubbed Rawhides. These are six new bodies being injected into GI Joe by Hasbro, but I digress. Beach Head gives them a looking over and blah, blah, blah Lt. Falcon is AWOL. Jinx is among them. Beach Head trains Big Lob and Tunnel Rat, but then meets Jinx in her training area, which looks kind of ninja-cabin-ish. She is working her katas or something. Here he accuses her of being bad luck, and then she makes a kissy face at him. He doesn’t like this at all, and proceeds to beat her up and then using the gladiator pole shoved in her face says “$#1+ ! Pathetic!” Yep. On a straight to TV movie. I would normally not like this except for what happens next.

As Beach Head begins to leave, she puts on her blindfold and breaks the training pole in two, then beats Beach Head down.

And there you have it. Beach Head gets the feels point. There has never been a time when this movie was on that I didn’t stop what I was doing…almost like saying the Pledge of Allegiance, and just take it in.

So I award GI Joe Classified Series Retro Cardback Beach Head a 4/5. He only loses a point because of his knee problem, but I guess the SpartanNerd loses that point also!

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!

GI Joe Classified Jinx and Zarana- Action figure showdown

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I’ve done a couple of action figure showdowns…Black Falcon vs. Demistros, Battle Armor He-Man (He-Men?), King vs. King vs. King. And now a version featuring the ladies.

I picked up Zarana and Jinx at the Toy Federation in Greer, SC. (Also Studio Series Soundwave). Why these two?

My favorite scene from he 1987 GI Joe movie was where Beach Head is training with Jinx. (I in fact love the whole part of Beach Head in this movie!) Beach Head interrupts Jinx while she is training, and proceeds to kick her butt…then PG-13 cussing at her (remember…this movie released on TV only!) As he begins to leave, she puts on her blindfold, breaks the training pole into two, and then beats the snot out of Beach Head.

Zarana is THE girl on the Dreadnoks team. There might be more, but I don’t know them. She is Zartan’s sister, and this came crashing back to me when I got the 2025 SDCC Cold Slither set. As you open it up, Zarana is sitting in the ticket booth. I knew then I would be picking her up if she was available. So here we are.

A “good girl” and a “bad girl.” Who will win?

PACKAGING

Zarana’s packaging

The back of Zarana’s packaging

Jinx’s packaging. More modern, but less splashy.
The back of Jinx’s packaging.

Both figures come in the kind of GI Joe Classified packaging you expect. I believe that Jinx’s is more recent, while Zarana’s appears to come from one of the early waves. As such, Jinx package is more sporty and as a consequence boring, while Zarana has actual illustrated comic-style art on her package. I am not figuring the packaging into the head-to-head score. I am grateful that neither was in a windowless package! So what will I use to score? The same criteria I always use. Sculpt, Paint, Accessories, Articulation, and the feels point.

FIGURE RUNDOWNS

What do you get in Jinx’s package?

  • Jinx figure
  • alternate head
  • Double-bladed Naginata (Bo staff with sai on both ends)
  • alternate fists
  • katana with sheath
  • Bandana
  • choker necklace (I’m counting this as it is easily removable)

What do you get in Zarana’s package?

  • Zarana figure
  • alternate hair
  • machine gun with skill saw blade
  • backpack
  • heat knife
  • ice-pick style dagger

The figure articulations are exactly the same. Notable…I hadn’t payed attention to this before…they both have butterfly shoulder joints! This is just now making it into Mythic Legions, for instance. And it will be a feature of the upcoming Masters of the Universe Chronicles line. And so once again they both receive a point. Jinx 2 points, Zarana 2 points. Jinx feels like the more important to have great articulation, as a martial artist. I suppose it is worth saying that Zarana’s upper arm pads kind of restrict how far up you can raise her arms…but actually it isn’t bad enough to count off a point.

The sculpts and paints. Here is where there is more a clear winner.

PICTURED: Super7 Ultimates Snake Eyes and GI Joe Classified Series Jinx.

Jinx is a red action figure. Hasbro has painted details over the red jumpsuit. And her shoes are not military…they are workout shoes. And if you use the alternate head, that is also molded in red plastic. Her arms are bare, but she has a flowery tattoo printed on her arm. Her face is a strong representation of the character, which is to say she aint no Scarlett or Baroness. In the movie, before she tries sparring with Beach Head, she makes a kissy face at him…and this ticks him off. He isn’t about playing around. But I don’t think he would have had the same reaction with Scarlett or Cover Girl. She just isn’t very pretty if you ask me. I’m just not a fan of that red plastic and sparse paint…do the clothes make the woman? They do in Jinx’s case, because this is all she has going for her. You could put almost any other female figure’s head on this body and it could work to make a new ninja.

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Cold Slither with Zarana.

Zarana is a different story…and I don’t think she’s pretty either. More like tough. But clearly more care was put into sculpting the details into her denim. Every tiny hook, buckle, strap, etc. is sculpted and has a paint hit. Her boots cover all of her lower legs and end with knee guards at the top. And this is painted and includes stirrups. Her jeans have large rips with pink tights (leggings?) visible underneath. I looked up an image of the vintage figure thinking this might suppose to be exposed flesh, but no it was pink back then also. I believe it was stylish patches, but they have updated it for the fashion of the 2020’s. Her top…this exposes a midriff with … abs! I looked at all of my female action figures, and none of them have abs like this. (Masters of the Universe Classics Battleground Teela barely has abs). This crop-top is pink with silver details and a brown strap. You get my point…her sculpt and paint are far superior to what Jinx has going on. Her face is very Dreadnok. Not pretty…more like an “I will mess you up” kind of face. She has shoulder protection that is also pink. Her hair is two-toned…or maybe even three shades. She’s a beast!

So Zarana gets these two points.

Accessories.

OK…I eventually got a Beach Head! Review coming soon. (PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Retro Cardback Beach Head)

They both have a similar number of accessories actually. I do wish Jinx came with a gun. On the other hand, she came with hands (see what I did there)? You can count her blindfold and also her choker as accessories. But on this line of thinking, you probably could remove Zarana’s top. (I’m not into customizing like this, but you probably could with a hair dryer). Jinx’s accessories tell a story of a ninja. Especially the katana and naginata. Both are painted well and she has no trouble posing with them. Zarana’s accessories are a little bit wingnut…a machine gun with a skill saw on the end? It took me a little while to figure it out, but the “heat knife” is an electric turkey carving knife! My grandma used to use one…but hers didn’t heat up. So I guess Zarana can cut the turkey and cook it at the same time! She has a backpack which also serves a storage for that knife. I believe Jinx wins this one only barely…she can’t be who she is without her weapons. Zarana’s stuff is in line with what a Dreadnok would have as a weapon.

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Zarana vs. Night Force Shooter. Shooter is “cuter” than either of them in this review.

Zarana- Articulation, Sculpt, paint- Three points.

Jinx- Articulation, Accessories…and THE FEELS POINT.- Three points

So why would I give the feels point to Jinx and not Zarana? Well I wanted both figures, so there’s that. But Jinx is in my favorite GI Joe The Movie scene (besides that hair-raising introduction music video. CObra–coBRA!) I just needed to have her, which also gives me most of the Rawhides movie scene. While Zarana is of Cobra and is a Dreadnok, which I also love.

So these ladies tie in this contest. It was my contest anyway. I said this could happen!

BUT LET’S GET OBJECTIVE

Zarana is clearly a better action figure when you take away the feels point. Just better paint and sculpt. You can tell she is huge on personality even if you don’t know anything about her character. These two tie in my contest, but if I put them against Mythic Legions or MASTERVERSE or any other modern action figures aimed at the SpartanNerd, then actually Jinx is more like a 3/5 and Zarana is a 5/5.

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!

SpartanNerd Cabin Fever-Cold Slither Concert Time

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See yesterday’s action figure photography post about the snow here.

An icicle spike, right at my tire.

Yeah…I’m going even more koo-koo crazy today…but at least I got out and drove to Walmart…it was dangerous at least on the way there. You have to worry about other drivers being nuts…I know I drive real slow over sheets of ice, while the cars pile up behind me. What is the hurry anyway? To slide off the road and crash into a tree?

My GI Joe Classified Series shelf has been in disarray, so I decided to use some of my boredom to fix it up. I thought I would make the Cold Slither look like the cover of the comic. So I cut the box up…(it was hard to bring myself to do that) and then got to setting them up.

My copy of the Cold Slither one shot by Tim Seeley. Seeley is more known for his work on Masters of the Universe.

You can pose them pretty close to the pose on the art. Unfortunately, their hair is too stiff to pose it like a fan is blowing it or something. (Once I saw Diamante in concert. She literally has fans on the edge of the stage to blow her incredible hair!) Torch is only barely balanced in that crouched pose. I added a little color filter to make it a little more in line with the comics colors. I glued some dice to the amplifiers to make them stand…they aren’t in the comic cover, but I can’t do the comic cover perfect anyway. The figures to a good job of standing like it, though.

Well, the Cold Slither concert went great. They played all the classics, plus a cover of “Am I Evil.” What was happening at the back of the venue?

Looks like Sgt. Slaughter led the Night Force to arrest Cobra Commander and Gnawgahyde. Cobra Commander was just trying to pay his bouncer, and then here come the Joes just messing things up. (I grew up typically a Cobra guy).

That packaging is so good, this back-of-the box really captures this seedy place where Cold Slither would hold a concert. I added kind of a smoky filter to make it even better.

Links to reviews of the figures above

Sgt Slaughter

Shooter and Tunnel Rat

Law and Order

Gnawgahyde, Porkbelly, and Yobbo

I never did a review of Cobra Commander. By the way, he is one of the most commonly seen GI Joe Classified figures. I believe they “over printed” him.

G.I. Joe Classified Law and Order – SpartanNerd unboxing and Review

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See the video review at my YouTube channel here!

As a longtime G.I. Joe fan and now the owner of a real-life German Shepherd, this Classified called my name throughout December. Between nostalgia from the G.I. Joe movie and modern Classified Series design, Law and Order was exactly what the SpartanNerd wanted with some of his Christmas money.

(What I really spent it on was Heatboys TMNT Donatello…you’ll have to wait for that review to drop…let’s just say SOLID 5/5!)

Packaging

Law and Order came in the typical GI Joe Classified Series window box. The last two Classifieds I reviewed came in that dumb windowless box. But I’m not sure they could sell this figure without such a good window where you can especially see the K9 dog.

The side has artwork similar to other GI Joe Classified series figures. I will be removing this and adding it to my diorama.

The back features a photoshop scene from the 1987 GI Joe movie. Law was one of Beach Head’s new recruits in training. Beach Head sent him in to a mockup town to find a bomb. But what Beach Head didn’t know was that Law was going to cheat, calling in Order to help. Order finds the bomb right away and brings it to Beach Head, but wants to play tug-of-war with it. Law gets it away and throws it, where it explodes away from the town. And then Beach Head says a famous line, (but doesn’t cuss this time), “I hope you both get fleas!”

Too bad the figure didn’t come with a bomb accessory. I kind of hoped that I just couldn’t see it in the package, but nope. There would be no hiding it with this window, and there was no surprise bomb this time. (Jokey Smurf reference!)

Of course, the other side of the box is useless, containing the coded bio symbols and a QR code that links to Hasbro’s main site.

What Do You Get in the Box?

  • Law action figure
  • German Shepherd K9 figure “Order”
  • Order has a K9 helmet and, collar, and harness
  • Multiple interchangeable hands
  • Alternate snarling dog head
  • Removable hat
  • Handcuffs
  • Nightstick (tonfa)
  • Uzi submachine gun
  • Pistol
  • Dagger

I mention the K9 helmet, as it wasn’t clear that it was removable. (for all we know it could be hard-sculpted on.)

Articulation

Law

Law features the standard G.I. Joe Classified articulation we’ve come to expect: excellent range of motion at the head, shoulders, elbows, wrists, torso, hips, knees, and ankles.

His removable hat fits well, and his tactical vest appears removable with some effort, but I don’t feel the need to take it off. (There might be a glued seam under one arm. Sculpted details like the flashlight and body cam add realism, making Law feel like a true modern military police officer.

Order

Order can rotate his head and has a slight up and down on his neck joint. He has jointed knees and elbows, as well as ankles on some kind of joint that can be angled in any direction. His tail is also on a ball joint. His front and back legs have “splay” and he can stand very well. There is also a mid-body articulation (do we call this a “torso” on a dog?)

The mouth does not close—Order always has his tongue out in the default head sculpt—You can swap the head for a more menacing “snarling” look.

Accessories

We have a lot of similarities…We can remove our helmets, and have large scary pets! PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Battle Armor Skeletor and Panthor, and GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order. Both are posing with their helmet and pet.

The Uzi machine gun is painted green-on-black, and looks like real guns I have likely seen at shows or just around my son who was in the army. I don’t know hardly anything about guns, but this one looks very realistic.

PICTURED: Law leads some NPC GI Joes and Tunnel Rat, while busting Cold Slither. Notice Zartan is escaping! All GI Joe Classified Series figures.

Be careful with these handcuffs. They are made of the thinnest plastic. Honestly they feel like that plastic that Hasbro uses to tie figures into a blister card. Flimsy stuff. There isn’t a way to unlock them…they are permanently closed. If you want to put them on a figure you have to remove their hands.

My son says he believes this pistol is not styled after a real pistol. I tend to believe him…

PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Man-E-Faces and GI Joe Classified Law. Both showing off their fictitious pistols.

The knightstick is a nice piece, but I wish the flashlight wasn’t permanently attached to the belt. I know some real police, and these flashlights are also meant to be used as nightsticks if necessary.

The dagger…I never could find a place on the figure where this dagger was supposed to sheath to. This was some kind of oversight at the Hasbro I believe.

Order- OK. This isn’t an accessory if you ask me.

Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera is OK to take apart…but I am not showing this heroic K9 disassembled.

No problem removing his helmet. It comes right off past the ears with a little force. BUT, in order to remove the harness…this is where there is a problem. There is no buckle or snap on this harness, instead you have to remove the head and neck (the neck doesn’t come off easy), and the two back legs.

It works, but it feels wrong—especially for younger collectors or anyone sensitive to pulling apart a dog figure. But he looks great without it on, and I prefer him not to wear it, though I know he is supposed to.

PICTURED: Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber and Order. I have nine dogs. I see this scene every day.

Order is of a similar scale to Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera skeleton pet, Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber wolf companion, GI Joe Classified Series Gnawgahyde’s Porkbelly warthog is bigger, but I believe this is accurate. (In a fight, my money is on the Warthog)

PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order and also Porkbelly, Gnawgahyde’s pet warthog.

SpartanNerd Rating of GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order

Such a good boy…he has Cobra Commander’s gun!

I am rating GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. I award points for sculpt, paint, articulation, accessories, and “feels.” The set gets all of these, especially the feels point because I also now have a German Shepherd, but also because of my love for the 1980’s GI Joe movie. I believe I will be completing the “team” of Beach Head’s recruits, because now all I need are Beach Head, Jinx, Big Lob, and Lt. Falcon.


I rate GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. Do you agree or disagree? Do you have a German Shepherd of your own?


Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and check out more GI Joe Classified Series reviews on SpartanNerd.com.

SpartanNerd- Action Figure Awards- The Best Figures of 2025

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I have a long-form video review HERE. You can find links to every figure reviewed on the SpartanNerd home page, or in the description of the YouTube video linked above.

I am only awarding to figures that I got in 2025. This isn’t necessarily figures that came out in 2025, but that happens to be the case for some of these. The featured image shows Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor and Mythic Legions Legendary Barbarian. Neither were the winners of 2025, I just wanted to use their picture!

GI JOE CLASSIFIED FIGURE OF THE YEAR

I decided that Panthor and Gnawgahyde were candidates. But it isn’t really fair to put Panthor in the pool…I might feel differently also if he was flocked. Gnawgahyde on the other hand is incredible, with that true-to-life accurate sniper rifle and his two pets, Porkbelly and Yobbo. That’s why Gnawgahyde is the GI Joe Classified Figure of the year.

MASTERVERSE FIGURE OF THE YEAR

New Eternia Battle Armor Skeletor is the SpartanNerd MASTERVERSE Figure of the Year. Mattel learned their lesson from the two Battle Armor He-Man figures that we received already…they were lackluster and apparently haven’t sold very well. Skeletor is the opposite of that in every way. A true update, giving him the best axe in MASTERVERSE, a removable helmet, and spikes on his shoulders. He has a chain-mail piece sculpted on his cranium, and also hip armor. You can swap his chest plate quickly and easily…another improvement on the other two. I really considered Roboto, but for my 2025 tastes, I like barbarians and skeletons more than robots (does that make sense?).

LADIES CATEGORY FIGURE OF THE YEAR

I did a ladies category this year, and New Eternia Evil-Lyn was a leading candidate. But she didn’t win. I do love her paint and sculpt. Other nominees were GI Joe Classified Shooter, New Eternia Teela, and the ladies category winner of the year (keep reading!). The lack of paint on Shooter’s weapons brought her down, and the “eye roll” of Teela is what knocked her out. (The others in my comic here are Movie Evil-Lyn and Revlation Evil-Lyn, both acquisitions from previous years)
I used an app called Comic Life to make these comics.
Skeletor’s Throne has three different colors of fire in its LED set. I liked the green for the Snake Mountain throne room the best.
Belualyth the Beastmaster is the Mythic Legions figure of the year. Incredible sculpting and paint details, plus a skeletal snake, vulture, and chimera, which I think is a cow and a big cat crossed with a snake. She is my kind of character! I always play black in Magic the Gathering, I have a collection of skeleton action figures, and this year I also picked up a lot of ladies. (action figure ladies…). That’s why Belualyth is also the ladies category winner of the year.
My mom gave me that miniature Lowe’s bucket. Remember Robbies Ribs from the 1987 Masters of the Universe Movie?
If you don’t know Carolina Mustard-style Barbecue, you should look that up. Even better, try some!

So there you have it!

SPARTANNERD FIGURE OF THE YEAR!

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments! What was your greatest action figure of the year?

MASTERVERSE New Eternia Kobra Khan- SpartanNerd Unboxing and Review

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See the Video Review HERE

MASTERVERSE New Eternia Kobra Khan- So easy to misspell! So forgive me if I mess up, Hub City Geeks! I remember Kobra Khan seemed to come out before the rest of the Snake Men. Growing up there was Kobra Khan in the SpartanNerd household, as well as Tongue Lasher and King Hiss. So we didn’t have an army of Snake Men. The SpartanMom is deathly afraid of snakes. I kind of lumped him in with Skeletor’s crew, rather than seeing the Snake Men as a different faction. He had a water squirting action, and there were a few other toys in He-Man that had this…Dragon Blaster Skeletor and Snout Spout. Water action was a cool thing then in the 1980s and continues to be a feature in toys today.

Of course, the MASTERVERSE figure doesn’t have a water feature. So how did they deal with that? Keep reading!

PACKAGING

This package is just as great as any of them. But let me say something here…I have had a rush of reviews lately…So Belualyth, New Eternia Moss Man, Cold Slither, New Eternia Teela, and New Etheria Hordak. And this character just feels…less epic. How much of that is my bias, I don’t know. But this is the reason I waited to do this one last. Apparently, like Battle Armor Skeletor and Blade, he has pretty much sold out everywhere. (I’m still feeling burned about Blade…just saying. That is the SpartanNerd failure of the year.)

So I need to keep it focused…I like that we have an image of Tongue Lasher, who is my favorite Snake Man. Hopefully he will come out soon.

The wraparound image features Rattlor.

Yeah…So Rattlor wasn’t on my radar as a kid. I think I must have been aware of him, but I never saw him and didn’t have him. So there’s that. Also, I didn’t even know about Blast Attack until I was an adult. AND…why is he considered a Snake Man? I did have a cousin or someone who had Snake Face, but I pretty much hated it. So Kobra Khan, King Hiss, and Tongue Lasher were MY Snake Men growing up. I did eventually own SSQUEEZE in Masters of the Universe Classics. (Tangents, Tangents)

The other side features the library image that also shows the alternate way of displaying the character…more vintage style or with the hood. Also, notice the Snake Men logo. This is either Classics or 200x. Good that they are keeping that.

The back is once again what you expect. A Photoshop image of the toy on an illustrated background. The bio reinforces the 200x story that it was Kobra Khan who released King Hiss and the other Snake Men from the pit in Snake Mountain. I like how they made this story track with the way the figure was released practically as one of Skeletor’s guys but then double-crossing Skeletor.

The cross-sell art might help confirm the first statement I made about why I was less excited about this one. (He looks dorky in between Hordak and Teela)

FIGURE REVIEW

What do you get in the box?

  • Kobra Khan figure
  • Cobra Snake Hood
  • Blaster Gun
  • Mace
  • Alternate chest piece
  • Alternate claw hands
  • purple “venom” spray effect
after messing with it for awhile, I swapped the hands for the claws for a more vintage feel…thinking maybe this would help me out with my problem here. Not really.

Kobra Khan is sculpted in pearlescent green plastic. Or is that metallic? He has the same lanky build as the other MASTERVERSE figures. There are bronze and brass painted details on the figure…his hands and the claws have a darker color than the main figure. (The hands make it feel like he is wearing gloves.)

Kobra Khan has the same eye effect that Panthor and Mer-Man have. A very realistic looking eye, that in this case kind of feels like it is something different quality than the rest of the figure.

Here is a little comparison with the Mythic Legions Ninian Infantry. I gave him Savage He-Man’s spear to make things even. And you can see that the Mythic Legions is easily a better sculpt. Kobra Khan should have more scales all over.

I guess the paint is alright. I mean, he is a green guy. But the big elephant in the room for me is the head sculpt. He looks “Rabbity” with those teeth. It is good that he has an articulated jaw…I was in fact worried that this was a static piece just from looking at the box.

ACCESSORIES

So kind of…the accessories and the figure run together a little bit. The hood and the breastplate…are these accessories? Similar to the wrist bracers…I guess they are technically accessories.

The hood just isn’t epic enough. So…weak head sculpt with a rabbity look, combined with a less-than-epic hood, means that Kobra Khan has kind of a “muppety” thing going on. BOO! (Serpentor hood? Cobra symbol? Mattel could have done better to compete with Hasbro here.)

Retreat! Wascawy Wabbit. For real, notice Cobra Commander’s snake on the hilt of his sword. Better hood than Kobra Khan. And those Cobra symbols from the GI JOE Classified Series packaging also look more epic. If there is a Serpentor, I will probably get it and compare, but I bet…

The venom spray effect is how they handle the water feature. This is purple, and not until taking the final photos did I start to realize that it looks kind of barfy. (I already did a video, and didn’t even have this thought then…)

She is the Snake Goddess. Shouldn’t he be more respectful?

Luckily, you can attach it to the end of the gun. Unfortunately, Snout Spout’s spray effect isn’t interchangeable with this one. Another missed opportunity by Mattel to do something cool that couldn’t have been that hard to accomplish.

I think it is great that you can swap out the chest plate. I prefer the one with the Snake Men logo, but the plain one is just fine and feels more vintage.

The gun has a snake sculpt to it. At first I thought it was the same as Zodac’s gun, but it is different and more flavorful. (I don’t own a MASTERVERSE Zodac…I am referring to my memory.)

And that mace. This is the weapon that came with the vintage figure, and is in fact the same that Clawful has. Which is stupid because those claws don’t hold it well.

SPARTANNERD RATING OF MASTERVERSE NEW ETERNIA KOBRA KHAN

Originally I rated this figure as a 4/5. But it has been a few more days with it, and I have changed my mind. The gun and the mace need paint apps. The hands are a strange color. The head sculpt looks rabbity and even worse when the hood is on. The sculpt doesn’t stack up to other Snake Men figures on the market. (Mythic Legions Ninian Infantry, for instance). The purple venom effect reminds me of the purple vomit scene in the movie The Sandlot.

Aww look…they are dancing. Kidding aside, even MASTERVERSE Revolution Sorceress Teela (a different sub-line based on Kevin Smith’s cartoon,) her hood looks more epic. In general New Eternia figures look better than the cartoon figures.

No. He isn’t anywhere close to a perfect five. I am awarding MASTERVERSE New Eternia Kobra Khan a 3/5. I am giving him the feels point because I needed him for my collection. He doesn’t have stupid problems…he stands well and has good articulation. And he came with a lot of accessories. But the paint and sculpt are just too bad.

I hope Tongue Lasher and King Hiss turn out better. Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments!