Tag Archives: GI Joe Classified

Super7 Ultimates! King Conan- A review 18 months in the making.

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Why do I like Conan the Barbarian so much? Basically he is the “anti-SpartanNerd.” Whatever I would do, Conan would do the opposite. For instance, if he gets mad…chop! Accompanied with “splish!” and then “Thud, thud, thump” head rolling down the steps. If I get mad, I might look at you funny…

I have anticipated this product for a LONG TIME. So long, in fact that I am not pre-ordering these Ultimates anymore. Yes…they cost more on the shelf. But I haven’t seen many rare ones. I have seen some Conan the Barbarian Ultimates! on the shelf at different stores, ranging in price from $55 (asking price) to $100 (Collectors market price). And for massive fans of the 1982 movie, this is great. I am a more casual fan of barbarians in general. But at this point I have seen the movie three times over the past 18 months, counting just last night so I could catch up for accuracy as I blog. I give the movie a solid B-Minus, that is if The Empire Strikes Back gets an A+ for reference. (Mattel wasn’t exaggerating when they passed on making Conan the Barbarian toys on account of a movie with gratuitous sex and violence…but the movie DOES capture what the comics and literature are about far better than its sequel, Conan the Destroyer). But I have a MASSIVE collection of Conan the Barbarian comics. I especially enjoyed the Dark Horse books. What they are doing now is OK, and they are going to drop a “Howardverse” on us all in the fall time. I don’t know if I will be all into that, but it might be cool! (Robert E. Howard, for anyone who doesn’t know. He is perhaps the inventor of “sword and sorcery” literature, and Conan’s creator).

Click the link here for a review of the packaging.

KING CONAN PACKAGING VIDEO LINK.

Let me go ahead and say some things for the haters:

  • I have been doing the SpartanNerd blog for years now. I have rarely done a video! Camera shy. I cringe as I hem and haw. But I am honest.
  • The lighting in the room isn’t great, and my glasses weren’t helping me read off of the package. I assure you…I CAN READ. My synopsis of the movie was purposely not detailed. I wasn’t even trying to do a movie synopsis!
  • A couple of errors. After watching the movie last night another time, I realize the villain was Thulsa Doom, not Thoth-Amon. This is really unforgivable. Sorry! I guess my nerves got the best of me. And then the other is that it wasn’t the Sword of Aquilonia that was broken in half…it was his father’s sword that we saw forged at the beginning of the movie.

REVIEW OF THE KING CONAN.

He is just SO EPIC!

Now this is just me geeking out. Some reference…my worst action figure is Marvel Legends Thor (classic comics appearance). I say this is the worst because he is not very posable. He has kneepads that break off and have to be glued. He doesn’t stand well with the heavy plastic cape. He came with Mjonir, that doesn’t fit in his hand well. That hand is a weapon holding hand where the thumb is attached to the fingers (creating a circle,) so that the weapon has to be slid in from the top. More like “forced” in. He came with a plastic rock to stand on, and I have gotten more use out of that rock than Thor!

Why this commercial about a different toy? King Conan soundly defeats that and is in the same collectors category, that’s why. We have multiple, swappable hands to be sure he can hold his weapons. (Just that sentence has TWO strictly better cards.). He has an alternate head. (It’s not THAT different). He is super articulated, and stands very sturdy. The sculpt is brilliant, and some of this toy WAS sculpted by the Four Horsemen…there are reused parts from Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor. (Vikor has so far been my favorite action figure, along with Battleground Teela. I kept them after selling off most of my MOTUC collection).

Pictured: Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor and Super7 Ultimates! King Conan. Both are flexing for the camera. Vikor has been my favorite action figure. Pretty much hands down. And if you read the SpartanNerd Blog enough, you know I have lots of pictures of him.

It is apparent when you look at that ab-crunch joint. And I haven’t tried to take off the belt (probably shouldn’t) but you can also see the belly button. Super7 solved one problem with that wrestler-style belt in that twisting his waist doesn’t give us that awkward “table shelf” apparent on the MOTUC figure. You can see from this shirtless flex that Vikor has unsightly pins in his elbow and knee joints. You can’t see a single joint on King Conan except for the torso. All of the cuts in the arms are very well concealed by the sculpt, and the knees and ankles have armor pieces that cover the joints.

Pictured: Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor and Super7 Ultimates! King Conan, with head swaps. It works very well…another clue that this is part re-use. Also, the figure on the left is holding the flail from Four Horsemen Studios Demistros.

Let’s talk about the “portrait.” He does look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and this is what is important, isn’t it! I was tempted on the last time I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a NECA Terminator 2 action figure of The Govenator…just to compare. (I’m also a fan of that movie, of course. Almost anything Arnold. Even Mr. Freeze). No need for all of that. My only issue is that one of the head sculpts doesn’t have pupils. This is kind of un-nerving to me. There is alot of “fog” in the cinematography, and they didn’t record in high-definition either, but you can still see the pupils anyway. If anything, his eyes are darker. Just white spheres doesn’t do it for me. Now my child can probably remedy this with painting skills…I know I can’t do it!

Pictured: Super7 Ultimates King Conan and The Worst Black Falcon.

The accessories that came with King Conan are the Sword of Aquilonia and another short sword pictured above. (It is good that it comes with a scabbard). I am uncertain where the design of this sword came from. Is it something extra that Super7 came up with, or is it a part of the costume that we can’t really see in the image from the movie? (Like…is it from production notes or something?) Someone out there knows this answer!

The Sword of Aquilonia…it does have a drab paint-job. But after watching the movie last night, I realize that this is accurate to what came with the toy. King Conan isn’t specifically pictured with it in the movie, so this can actually be considered an extra piece. Unfortunately, I have to report that the brown paint on the handle has flaked off. It’s no wonder, Conan’s gripping hands are so tight you can’t arm him with weapons without using a hair dryer.

Pictured: I call this one The Coup D’etat-Back to the Wheel of Pain. Super7 Ultimates! King Conan is being led away a prisoner by Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor and MASTERVERSE 40th Anniversary He-Man. Notice the handle on the Sword of Aquilonia (Vikor has it.)

The other accessories are things that go with the clothes…this is a chest harness with built-in paldrons, a mink stole sculpted from plastic, and a soft-goods cape.

Pictured: MASTERVERSE 40th Anniversary He-Man wearing Super7 Ultimates! King Conan Armor and cape. He is armed with the jeweled sword from Animal Warriors of the Kingdom Gold Loot Box, and is holding Mythic Legions Sir Godfrey’s helmet. Also standing on King Conan’s rug.

You can see in the above picture that the armor and cape work pretty good even for a figure that is an inch taller.

Pictured: I call this one Revenge- After the Wheel of Pain. This is MASTERVERSE He-Man’s body armed with Super7 Ultimates! King Conan’s cape and armor, and King Conan’s head swapped in. He is holding the golden axe from The Animal Warriors of the Kingdom Gold Loot Box, and Mythic Legions Xylernian Guard’s shield. Also standing on King Conan’s rug. And this is about the most awesome-non photoshop picture of a barbarian action figure you can get at this price point.

THE THRONE OF AQUILONIA

Somewhere up above in this same review blog entry I mentioned Marvel Select’s Thor coming with a plastic rock for him to stand on. King Conan’s throne is just another way that Super7’s offering is so much more. But to be fair, you had to pay for it separate. I personally think they should have made this all one box. You don’t get one without the other kind of thing. I don’t own it, but maybe I will…The Figura Obscura Headless Horseman comes with a horse. This is inseparable from the character. It should have been the same here. Who is displaying a King Conan without the throne? Now early on when I was deciding whether or not to purchase King Conan, I watched video commentary about the reveals, and people were torn on if this was worth $45 or not. They have released a couple of other thrones, and they are all a similar price. (Mon-Star from SilverHawks is one I can think of). I am happy with King Conan’s throne, but it could have been a smidge cheaper on shipping, etc if it was bundled together. Or maybe they didn’t think they could sell it at a higher price. I don’t know…I just collect.

As I mentioned in the video, I felt a little burned about the rug not being removable. (Actually I kind of down-played my feelings as “an observation”). Somehow, for 18 months, I thought this would be a cloth rug. Is this communication on their part or me just being a dum-dum? It is well painted. Beautifully painted actually. But we have soft goods for the cape. Something different could have been done here.

So with the throne, you get a plastic base sculpted to be concrete, with a rug sculpted on and painted, the throne itself which is more like a bench and less like a chair, and this ornamental spear. I mentioned in the video that I was glad it wasn’t a scepter. King Conan is an unhappy king in the comics. Sitting around ruling everyone is boring for the guy. He would rather be out there busting snake cult people. That it is a spear was a way that the movie writers could express this to us without giving us a story. It is said that Netflix is wanting to make some media for King Conan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is very much behind the project.

Pictured: Super7 Ultimates! King Conan Throne of Aquilonia, which is occupied by MASTERVERSE Revelation King Grayskull.

The above photo tackles one of the questions I had. Does it look good with other characters. I find that King Grayskull doesn’t sit so well, which has me concerned because I have ordered MASTERVERSE Skeletor with throne.

Pictured: Super7 Ultimates! King Conan Throne of Aquilonia, which is occupied by GI Joe Classified Cobra Commander.

The throne works very well for Cobra Commander.

One thing…the box that King Conan came with has a terrific diorama featuring a nice shadow behind the throne and two torch-sconces. This is just too terrific. It adds a whole lot to the whole set. The floor I used for these photos is from MASTERVERSE packaging.

How else can you use such an item?

Pictured: I call this one Over the Top Icons. Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor, MASTERVERSE Evil Lyn from the 1987 Masters of the Universe movie, and SUPER7 Ultimates King Conan and Throne of Aquilonia. Anyone out there get what I meant by Over the Top?

A very out-of-character photo. But you can see the other hands well.

Pictured: Super7 Ultimates King Conan and Throne of Aquilonia, who is defending his throne from Four Horsemen Studios Demistros. Demistros is armed with McFarlane’s Redeemer sword. The concrete slab almost disappears in this lighting and filter.

After watching the movie last night, I notice a large disparity in the throne we are given and what was in the film. The concrete slab was three times as large! We only have a straight-ahead shot, but it is clear that the rug is sitting on concrete that is symmetrical on both sides. Super7 could have given us this…it would have been two more pieces of plastic, and then no one would have anything to say about the price point of the throne. Now that this is the SpartanNerd’s summer vacation, I have time to customize this.

SPARTANNERD’S RATING OF SUPER7 ULTIMATES! KING CONAN AND THE THRONE OF AQUILONIA

I’ve had this for about two-weeks now, and have had a couple of photo sessions with it. It delivers for the price you paid for it if you collect action figures or if you are a fan of the movie. Movie fans might be casual like me or serious. Probably a serious movie fan would go for something by Hot Toys or Sideshow or someone, where you pay more like $200. But as what is basically a Masters of the Universe Classics 5.0 figure…(Original wave 1.0, Subscription 2.0, Filmation 3.0, Ultimates! releases 4.0, and now non-MOTU is 5.0 by my counting)…$55 for the king and $45 for the throne isn’t too bad considering the current economy. Considering that this was done at what is on Mythic Legions, non-retail price scale. This is my interest. I am certainly glad I ordered the Battle of the Mounds figures that will be coming maybe in July. It checks all the boxes with little complaint. I am going to list things down below and offer two ratings…one for the king and the other for the throne.

  • King Conan PROS- Outstanding sculpt. Looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Comes with two weapons and removable armor. Excellent paint details. Plenty of hands to swap and also an alternate head with different hair.
  • King Conan CONS- Pupils on one of the head sculpts not there. Gripping hands are so tight they have to be heated up to work. Paint on Sword of Aquilonia is flaking off with very minimal use.
  • Throne of Aquilonia PROS- Great sculpt. Terrific Vac Metal paint job. Spear accessory makes all of the other accessories with the figure look sad. The platform has pegs for helping stand action figures that have holes in their feet.
  • Throne of Aquilonia CONS- The “concrete” slab isn’t the correct size to depict the movie scene accurately. The “rug” is a sculpted and painted detail…not a separate piece.

All of the excellent things I list add lots to the product, and has been more fun for me with time. The pupils issue and the paint flaking are both QC issues that Super7 should address, but they don’t take away from the toys much. I haven’t been displaying the head that doesn’t have pupils…I almost forget that I have it, and the two sculpts are so similar. Look at all that the Throne of Aquilonia has added to King Grayskull, Cobra Commander, and really almost anyone else who might fancy themselves to sit on a throne. Look at how useful that platform is…it has pegs that fit Mythic Legions feet, MASTERVERSE feet, and Ultimates! feet. AND a bonus…the diorama that came as part of King Conan’s package looks too great with all of these fantasy figures to throw away. I can only give a 5/5 when I take everything into account. Maybe not a perfect 5/5, but fairly close.

Pictured: Super7 Ultimates! King Conan and Ultimates! GI Joe Cobra B.A.T. The platform has pegs that made the balance required for this action possible.

Like I said…if you are a different kind of collector, you might disagree. Out there is a larger scale figure, perhaps in 1:6 scale, that you can dress in all manner of looks. Out there is a hyper-detailed statue to sit on a shelf. A large full-scale statue for your yard. That’s not what this product is meant for. It’s meant for the plastic adult collector semi-play with action figure market. The 1:12 MOTUC scale collector. And it does that terrifically.

Will he supplant Vikor? It seems like maybe Battle of the Mounds Conan might be able to when he arrives. Having this makes me wish I had the “iconic pose” version. Watching the movie last night also makes me want the camouflage version. I feel like this figure adds much to all of the barbarian things I have already. We’ll have to see if over time King Conan moves into that favorite slot!

Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks. Let me know in the comments!

Also, Super7. I did what you said. I made a video. I posted to Instagram. Both things I never do. I also answered your summons to apply for the affiliate links program…and WAS DENIED. I am not Pixel Dan or Action Figure BBQ or Dorklair. Don’t claim to be. (I am very inspired by all three, and also by Poe Ghostal …great news I just found out he’s back!)

I am a real consumer who runs this blog as a hobby. It is Summer vacation. I will work on it. But Super7, you guys should reconsider! I give honest opinions and reviews. Readers, send me some advice in the comments!

SpartanNerd Unboxing and Review…Animal Warriors of the Kingdom Weapons Loot (gold)

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I ordered the Animal Warriors Of The Kingdom gold weapons loot pack from BigBadToyStore, as I was looking for weapons packs and weapons, weapon racks, and other related items for 6-7 inch scale figures. I was specifically looking for things that were cheap, but probably would work with my growing collection of MASTERVERSE. This weapons pack caught my attention because I thought it might go well with the Super7 Ultimates! Conan the Barbarian: Battle of the Mounds figures and King Conan with the throne of Aquilonia that should be arriving within a couple of months

Animal Warriors Of The Kingdom (AWOK) is a line of action figures by a company, Spero, that I am not very familiar with. There are named characters apparently, but I am unaware of the story at all. In my mind, it’s a little bit like the Mythic Legions, where the figures could be any generic fantasy Idea. Most of these figures look like they fit well with the ThunderCats. There are several different colorways of these weapons, as well as variations of what weapons you can have in a “weapons loot”. It was the gold weapons that stuck out the most to me. Below are pictures of the package.

These weapons came in a wonderful window box…it was really very nice. Maybe I should have videoed this box because it is hard to do justice to the effect of holding it and looking at it. When my wife saw the package, she said “That is a terrific shadowbox.” It’s true. There is an orange Sunburst in the background and the weapons are suspended in a blister that allows light in and shadows to fall behind. It’s a boring window box otherwise, but the main idea here the weapons inside are very apparent. These weapons are just attached in a blister. There is no kind of weapons rack or other storage solution, which is just too bad. (Almost my only complaint!). The character on the back is apparently named “Pale,” (Question? ”pronouced “Pail” or “Peh-Leh?”). which is information readily available if you look at the other offerings from the line. He is some type of simian.

The weapons included are: a large mace similar to some weapons in Elden Ring, a broadsword with a jewel in the hilt (very original), two guns (one a shotgun and the other a muzzle-loader type of pistol…both in the safari hunter style). What first appeared to be two pieces- a scepter/magic staff and a short sword, are actually meant to combine to be a long spear. I suppose you could technically keep them separate. And my favorite…a battle axe.

The SpartanNerd has been working on his photography game little bit. You can see that I have a new light box set up. I’m also working on diorama pieces and so here are weapons racks that I made homemade. I found many of tips on the internet about making weapons racks for G.I. Joe classified guns, and also there are racks available to buy. Mostly these are for guns that come with G.I. Joe classified or Marvel Legends. In my case I want a more barbarian, Masters of the Universe congruent look, so I just made an A-frame similar to what we got with Castle Grayskull in the 1980s, and also a square one similar to the Masters of the Universe Classics version. 

I won’t lie to you. I thought about buying the Classics version again, but there aren’t that many of them out there for sale and what is for sale is well over $50 used. I remember when I had this, I wasn’t that happy with it. It seems to me like I could not get the weapons on there the way I wanted, and sometimes the tight pegs would rub the paint off of the weapons. I resorted to rubber bands on it also. Looking at old pictures of it doesn’t bring back great memories. Why aren’t there more diorama pieces readily available to purchase to help fans like the SpartanNerd and the Hub City Geeks out?

I decided to break out the She-Ra from the San Diego comic con exclusive 200x from I don’t know, 2003 or 2004. I keep her in her window box but take her out on special occasions. Her style of sword and the gold motif on her armor match up very well with Movie He-Man and the golden AWOK sword. Now is a good time to point out that none of these weapons will work with 7-inch scale female figures. In the case of this sword and also the guns below, you feel like the fingers are stretching even on larger hands.

I like characters that are like walking weapon racks. Case in point, Two-Bad here can run with the whole mercenary motif. I need to talk about the size of the handles of these weapons. In order for Two-Bad to hold the rifle, I had to face it into his body first in order to wedge the handle into his fingers, and that twist it around. Even this way that handle is so thick it does not want to give me the desirable Sergeant Slaughter type of pose I would want. These weapons were terrific with other toy lines, case in point the redeemer here holding that golden Mace just seems perfect. (The Redeemer can’t hold the guns. His fingers are too stiff. Too bad, because he only has trigger fingers.)

Vikor fending off a Mythic Legions skeleton army builder. A good test case for a future Conan model. From this picture, don’t you think that the handle looks too big? Because Ultimates Conan figures are basically Masters of the Universe Classics figures, I wonder if there will be drama. This sword looks great otherwise in Vikor’s hand.

I’ve had terrific fun posing and taking pictures of my figures with the Animal Warriors of the Kingdom gold weapons loot set. The weapons look great in the hands of male MASTERVERSE, MOTUC, Mythic Legions, and even Spawn figures. The shadowbox packaging is a neat trick. Be careful with the hands as the handles on some of the weapons are a little thick. I am curious about how well they fit in the hands of the AWOK figures. Spero offers plain army builder figures out there for low prices. Maybe I will get one someday and see. Of more interest to me is the set of armor I saw on Big Bad Toy Store. 

I am rating this set 5/5. The weapons look great and that is really the whole point for me. They can add a new dimension to figures like Two-Bad or Barbarian Skeletor. I don’t warrant subtracting a point about the handles…after all I did get the weapons into the hands of the figures and nothing broke and no paint scratched or peeled off. (But it is worrisome.)

Do you agree with my 5/5 score, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!

Super7 Ultimates B.A.T. SpartanNerd Unboxing and Review

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Deck the Halls will Boughs of Cobra. Cobra La la laa, la lah la laaa.

Beautifully done, chorus teacher SpartanNerd. I ordered this as a part of the Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales on Super7.com. It had been a long time since I ordered one of the Ultimates. Back when they did the Masters of the Universe Classics, I got Ram Man, and if I reviewed him, the post has been deleted because it got NO VIEWS. Come on, Hub City Geeks. Send some love! Ram Man was nice, but I don’t have him anymore. He was given up with the great purge that got me into the Mega Bloks/Construx/MEGA figures.

But I saw this figure earlier in the year and wanted it immediately. I didn’t bite then, though. Same problem as before. Where is the room? My sad little shelf is way overstuffed now. And I surely can’t go into collecting GI Joe’s. (I think if I did, I would go for collecting the vintage ones.)

But I bought it anyway. It was on sale. I figured to keep it in box beside Cobra Commander. (A similar thought pattern went into purchasing GI Joe Classified Series Sgt. Slaughter from GameStop.)

The Cobra B.A.T. came in a very nice package. I was totally floored at how nice this was! After opening Sgt. Slaughter, no comparison. This sleeve leaves me with a dilemma. I want the figure on display. But this part of the box, wow! It has this foil coloring, with Cobra blue camouflage designs, and silver outlines. Just this much did it for me. This puts Mattel’s MOTUC packaging to shame, and definitely puts the Hasbro windowless box to shame! When you remove the sleeve, you can see the figure still in a nice box, and you can read the details on the back. The back has this cartoonish robot feature with a screen that gives us what serves as a bio card for the Cobra B.A.T. Not a single person who purchased this would not know what the B.A.T… is about. But I paid $36 for this figure, and felt right away upon opening it that I was receiving a premium treatment. (Recently, the MEGA Snake Mountain box has underwhelmed me.)

As we continue, it becomes apparent that this is a collector-friendly package. You just slide out what turns out to be TWO LAYERS of blisters. This guy has alternate hands, a pistol, a machine gun, two backpacks (one traditional and another a barrel-shaped container), an alternate damaged head, and a spark damage effect.

He stands tall with no problem. He is tall and posable. In fact, it is just about exactly like the Masters of the Universe Classics figures. The pistol pic below was no problem to pose him into. His damage effects are also really cool…On the cartoons Cobra’s disposable army were really easy to beat up. I will say that I had trouble removing the clear chest piece in order to plug in the spark damage effect. Turns out there is a tiny little tab for your fingernail hiding behind the grenade strap. (Those grenades are not removable as far as I can tell.). The traditional backpack has holes that you can use to store his arm attachments or extra hands. The barrel has room for stuff, but contains some purple spark things. There is a silver feature on his right thigh that I am unsure of the function. It isn’t a holster. (He has a holster for the pistol on his right thigh.). I think this must be from the vintage designs or something. Nothing seems to peg into that, and I haven’t found any pics on the internet showing it used for something. I like to think it is a communicator or a charging station or battery or something.

His arm attachments are a futuristic gun, a claw hand, and a drill. He comes with open hands, trigger fingers, and fists, and these are in a detailed style as well as in a more plain cartoon accurate style. These are alot of hands! I will say the peg joint in the neck is slightly loose, while everything else is very tight. The pegs on the arm attachments and hands might be too tight….

The backpacks attach by pegs that resemble straps. They peg in to the shoulders. I always feel that I have to force them just the tiniest bit.

The plastic on this guy feels pretty good. Maybe a little soft, which is surprising because the joints are so tight.

Here I have him posed with the GI Joe classified figures. You would think the scale discrepancy would be jarring, but in this case it really isn’t. Maybe Cobra Commander is a Napoleon type? Maybe Battle Android Troopers should be on the taller and bigger side. Sgt. Slaughter’s beefy sculpt offsets the tallness of the B.A.T. (What are the sparks in the barrel backpack? They are like sharp “devil-heads” and can be removed). The photos don’t show it much, but the Super7 figure does have larger feet and legs. I used the box background card (also removable!) to take the classic pic that looks like a vintage cardback. By the way. Why don’t GI Joe Classified figures contain this feature?

Below shows two more comparisons. Here with the few MOTUC figures I have left, you can see he really does fit right in as far as size is concerned. Of course he would fall to the barbaric awesomeness of Vikor and Despara. Check out how close he fits with Sir Lazer Lot.

Just for fun, I put him with the Snow Cat and Frostbite, and you can see how big he is compared to the vintage stuff. You get a “frost giant” kind of story.

I was having so much fun posing him and swapping the parts and taking pictures. And then it was time to put him back in the box. I thought to put the hands back the way they were when I opened it. And then…SNAP.

Just like that. I had another childhood memory. How many GI Joes, Corps figures, and others suffered such a fate? This really stung. After all that positivity, something had to go south. Maybe I wasn’t careful enough? Maybe it’s something more problematic, like cheap soft plastic. These pegs are really tight. But the hands are supposed to be swappable as a feature of the toy, and I can’t say for certain, but I bet they swap with other ultimate figures or MOTUC figures like Trap Jaw and Roboto who have a similar gimmick. (Edit: probably not). I was able to soften it with a hair dryer and dig out the peg with a tiny screwdriver. But man. This really burns. He came with other hands, so it isn’t the end of the world. Only a little sad. And sadness should not go with this hobby.

I had my eye on an Ultimate King Conan the Barbarian with the Throne of Aquilonia. I mean, this made me think twice. (I caved and ordered it just before typing all this even though this tragedy is in my mind.)

So, it is time to grade.

My chorus teacher self wants to give this figure an A-. A 91. I wanted him earlier in the year. Waiting paid off as I got him much cheaper. His packaging was stellar. He went right back in the box and that sleeve went right over for future fancy feeling. He has tons of accessories and posing options. The joints feel good. He looks good.

The only negative would be the breakable nature of the peg on the forearm. Still, I am giving him a 5/5. It would have to be like 4.8/5, though. Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Have you had similar issues with Super7’s ultimates figures? Do you think my issue should sully the experience of this guy too badly? Should I cancel my order for Conan? Let me know in the comments.

GI Joe Classified Sgt. Slaughter…SpartanNerd unboxing and review

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Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!

The SpartanNerd got some new goodies!

First up is a “second”…that is, a second GI Joe Classified figure. (I already had Cobra Commander.). And now, I have Sgt. Slaughter, a figure of a person I actually met in person at the Retro Toy Con in Greenville last year. (Sgt. Slaughter is a real-life character.)

My history with the Sarge. Well, as a child I used to watch GI Joe. But we didn’t have many of the figures. Like Transformers, they were on the more expensive side. Which wasn’t to say we had none. Me and my brothers eventually accrued a small army, but we usually didn’t remember the names of the characters, and some of ours were of the more generic but WAY CHEAPER “Corps” variety. As the older brother, I always gravitated towards Cobra and the Decepticons in these rare but cherished acquisitions. The other issue…my mother didn’t want us to go into the army. I have an uncle who was eventually a colonel. And he of course encouraged us to join up. (Just a note. The character of Sgt. Slaughter would be a Marine before becoming a GI Joe.)

Anyway, Sgt. Slaughter was one of the few official Joes that we had. I remember specifically that he had a removable hat, that I remember specifically getting lost. So most of the time he didn’t have this. Some light research on YoJoe.com tells me that we must have had the version that came with the Warthog AIFV.

But this isn’t all, is it? Sgt. Slaughter was a WWF wrestler. I remember watching him. I didn’t watch wrestling that much. It was what came on after the cartoons on Saturday morning, so…BUT, (Confusingly, the sarge seemed to switch to our enemy Iraq sometime in the 1990’s for his wrestling kayfabe. Nobody’s perfect…). Sgt. Slaughter also appeared as a Saturday morning cartoon host and in commercials for GI Joe toys. And finally, the most memorable thing about Sgt. Slaughter for me was the 1980’s movie appearance. In this version, which I got to see dozens of times because we had it on BETA tapes hooked to our Nintendo TV, Sgt. Slaughter shines most of all. Without using a curse word (unlike Beach Head), he let us know what a drill sergeant is all about. “The only way your going home is in a ditty bag. An itty, bitty, ditty bag.” !!!!!!!!!!

(I asked the Sarge what this meant when I met him at the Retro Toy Con last year. The “ditty bag” is a small cosmetics bag that a soldier stores his razor in. At the con I was SO TEMPTED to get an autographed poster of Sgt. Slaughter saying this to hang in my classroom!)

On to the toy review!

WHAT? SERIOUSLY? I ordered my figure from GameStop…I got an e-mail blasting a sale. And so when I clicked, I saw it at a reasonable price of <$25, and ordered it. Having a Cobra Commander already, I knew this would be a pretty cool toy to display beside him.

BUT NOPE. REALLY!!

I had heard of “windowless” packaging for Hasbro’s toys. I might have seen a Star Wars black series Battle Droid hanging on a tab when I visited the store. I didn’t put it together that THIS WAS WHAT I WOULD GET. No window showing us the figure. I did not and still do not appreciate this. OK so there is virtually no plastic in this package. I guess that’s a win for the environment. But the environment has to take second place. We are talking about serious business here, Hub City Geeks.

What we get is a nice picture of Sgt. Slaughter in different situations. The top left is the GI Joe TV host (I think,), the top right is the comic book appearance. Next on the left is a person holding the action figure who is holding a micro action figure which is an included accessory. The right is the image of the Sarge from the movie. The bottom left is a picture of the toy posed holding the machine gun. And in the center, nice and tall, is a modern illustration of the character. If he seems less muscular in this depiction, this is what he really looks like in real life today, only an illustrated version. When GamesStop advertised that this figure would be Six-In-One, what they meant was the six versions that surround the illustration. And they are counting the micro figure.

The back shows us another picture of the machine gun pose, and also a picture of everything in the box along with a ruler showing us how big everything is in scale. Those symbols…

I didn’t pay that much attention to them on Cobra Commander’s box. I guess I just thought it part of the design. But with Sgt. Slaughter’s box next to it, I see that there is more going on here. Something deeper. These are the character’s stats! You can see a whole page about that here. Finally, it makes sense. Cobra Commander has strong leadership, light weapons, “psyops” (psychological warfare), and a mastered skillset for coercion. Sgt. Slaughter has strong leadership, great hand to hand skills, great strength, and a mastered skillset that is too secret to reveal!

The other side has nice art, comparable to Cobra Commander’s.

BUT…Trying to save the environment by removing the blister is a poor excuse for not getting to see the figure we are getting. AND…it looks dumb next to Cobra Commander who has a windowed package. Hasbro. You deal in plastic. Do it right.

Let’s open this up.

This is what you open. The figure is strapped to the open box with paper rope. The other box contains the accessories.

We get what my son in the army says is an AK-47, but you have to assemble it. The magazine and the flashlight were not attached. A pair of sunglasses. A “baton” (is this the right word?), a whistle, a micro action figure on card WITH BLISTER. Three alternate left and right hands, and that hat I remember so fondly.

I think the only couple of things I would add here are a figure stand and a pistol or grenades. But I don’t miss these that much.

Here I have Sgt. Slaughter posed as best as I could to his comic appearance.

I tried to do the pose of the big image on the box…the problem is that the baton will not stay securely in his armpit. Another one you can’t do is the arms folded. His plastic muscles are just too much!

He looks like an 80’s action star holding his AK-47.

In a future post, I will open this micro figure. Why did they include this? Do the recent GI Joe Classified figures all come with this? I really enjoy it, though!

The sergeant must be taller than Cobra Commander. With another upcoming review, you will see that it must be that Cobra Commander is supposed to be on the shorter side. More research needed, I guess. But I kind of like it if he has a Napoleon complex. Seems fitting. The Sarge looks like he could roll up Old Snake and throw him at some BAT bowling pins.

So what do I rate this GI Joe Classified Sgt. Slaughter? No question. That package is a disappointment. I was underwhelmed when I opened the shipper box. And that isn’t what you want in a hobby that is supposed to be about awesome fun. As a teacher that box gets a D+. The contents are clear and the pictures are nice. Blah blah blah. Less plastic. Blah blah blah. I. Want. To. See. What. I. Have. In. The. Box. for display purposes. I am a grown up. Are kids buying these figures? I don’t think so. They have no connection to them.

As far as the figure, it is excellent. 5/5. Hooray! It is a great representation of the classic GI Joe. He looks cool, is highly posable. Looks good with Cobra Commander. No issues with sloppy paint or anything like that. The joints feel right. The swappable hands kind of worry me, but they work just fine…just be careful.

If the figure gets a 5/5, and the package gets a 2/5, I guess I am giving this a 4/5. Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!