Yeah…I’m going even more koo-koo crazy today…but at least I got out and drove to Walmart…it was dangerous at least on the way there. You have to worry about other drivers being nuts…I know I drive real slow over sheets of ice, while the cars pile up behind me. What is the hurry anyway? To slide off the road and crash into a tree?
My GI Joe Classified Series shelf has been in disarray, so I decided to use some of my boredom to fix it up. I thought I would make the Cold Slither look like the cover of the comic. So I cut the box up…(it was hard to bring myself to do that) and then got to setting them up.
My copy of the Cold Slither one shot by Tim Seeley. Seeley is more known for his work on Masters of the Universe.
You can pose them pretty close to the pose on the art. Unfortunately, their hair is too stiff to pose it like a fan is blowing it or something. (Once I saw Diamante in concert. She literally has fans on the edge of the stage to blow her incredible hair!) Torch is only barely balanced in that crouched pose. I added a little color filter to make it a little more in line with the comics colors. I glued some dice to the amplifiers to make them stand…they aren’t in the comic cover, but I can’t do the comic cover perfect anyway. The figures to a good job of standing like it, though.
Well, the Cold Slither concert went great. They played all the classics, plus a cover of “Am I Evil.” What was happening at the back of the venue?
Looks like Sgt. Slaughter led the Night Force to arrest Cobra Commander and Gnawgahyde. Cobra Commander was just trying to pay his bouncer, and then here come the Joes just messing things up. (I grew up typically a Cobra guy).
That packaging is so good, this back-of-the box really captures this seedy place where Cold Slither would hold a concert. I added kind of a smoky filter to make it even better.
As a longtime G.I. Joe fan and now the owner of a real-life German Shepherd, this Classified called my name throughout December. Between nostalgia from the G.I. Joe movie and modern Classified Series design, Law and Order was exactly what the SpartanNerd wanted with some of his Christmas money.
(What I really spent it on was Heatboys TMNT Donatello…you’ll have to wait for that review to drop…let’s just say SOLID 5/5!)
Packaging
Law and Order came in the typical GI Joe Classified Series window box. The last two Classifieds I reviewed came in that dumb windowless box. But I’m not sure they could sell this figure without such a good window where you can especially see the K9 dog.
The side has artwork similar to other GI Joe Classified series figures. I will be removing this and adding it to my diorama.
The back features a photoshop scene from the 1987 GI Joe movie. Law was one of Beach Head’s new recruits in training. Beach Head sent him in to a mockup town to find a bomb. But what Beach Head didn’t know was that Law was going to cheat, calling in Order to help. Order finds the bomb right away and brings it to Beach Head, but wants to play tug-of-war with it. Law gets it away and throws it, where it explodes away from the town. And then Beach Head says a famous line, (but doesn’t cuss this time), “I hope you both get fleas!”
Too bad the figure didn’t come with a bomb accessory. I kind of hoped that I just couldn’t see it in the package, but nope. There would be no hiding it with this window, and there was no surprise bomb this time. (Jokey Smurf reference!)
Of course, the other side of the box is useless, containing the coded bio symbols and a QR code that links to Hasbro’s main site.
What Do You Get in the Box?
Law action figure
German Shepherd K9 figure “Order”
Order has a K9 helmet and, collar, and harness
Multiple interchangeable hands
Alternate snarling dog head
Removable hat
Handcuffs
Nightstick (tonfa)
Uzi submachine gun
Pistol
Dagger
I mention the K9 helmet, as it wasn’t clear that it was removable. (for all we know it could be hard-sculpted on.)
Articulation
Law
Law features the standard G.I. Joe Classified articulation we’ve come to expect: excellent range of motion at the head, shoulders, elbows, wrists, torso, hips, knees, and ankles.
His removable hat fits well, and his tactical vest appears removable with some effort, but I don’t feel the need to take it off. (There might be a glued seam under one arm. Sculpted details like the flashlight and body cam add realism, making Law feel like a true modern military police officer.
Order
Order can rotate his head and has a slight up and down on his neck joint. He has jointed knees and elbows, as well as ankles on some kind of joint that can be angled in any direction. His tail is also on a ball joint. His front and back legs have “splay” and he can stand very well. There is also a mid-body articulation (do we call this a “torso” on a dog?)
The mouth does not close—Order always has his tongue out in the default head sculpt—You can swap the head for a more menacing “snarling” look.
Accessories
We have a lot of similarities…We can remove our helmets, and have large scary pets! PICTURED: Masterverse New Eternia Battle Armor Skeletor and Panthor, and GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order. Both are posing with their helmet and pet.
The Uzi machine gun is painted green-on-black, and looks like real guns I have likely seen at shows or just around my son who was in the army. I don’t know hardly anything about guns, but this one looks very realistic.
PICTURED: Law leads some NPC GI Joes and Tunnel Rat, while busting Cold Slither. Notice Zartan is escaping! All GI Joe Classified Series figures.
Be careful with these handcuffs. They are made of the thinnest plastic. Honestly they feel like that plastic that Hasbro uses to tie figures into a blister card. Flimsy stuff. There isn’t a way to unlock them…they are permanently closed. If you want to put them on a figure you have to remove their hands.
My son says he believes this pistol is not styled after a real pistol. I tend to believe him…
The knightstick is a nice piece, but I wish the flashlight wasn’t permanently attached to the belt. I know some real police, and these flashlights are also meant to be used as nightsticks if necessary.
The dagger…I never could find a place on the figure where this dagger was supposed to sheath to. This was some kind of oversight at the Hasbro I believe.
No problem removing his helmet. It comes right off past the ears with a little force. BUT, in order to remove the harness…this is where there is a problem. There is no buckle or snap on this harness, instead you have to remove the head and neck (the neck doesn’t come off easy), and the two back legs.
It works, but it feels wrong—especially for younger collectors or anyone sensitive to pulling apart a dog figure. But he looks great without it on, and I prefer him not to wear it, though I know he is supposed to.
Order is of a similar scale to Mythic Legions Belualyth’s Chimera skeleton pet, Super7 Ultimates! Snake Eyes Timber wolf companion, GI Joe Classified Series Gnawgahyde’s Porkbelly warthog is bigger, but I believe this is accurate. (In a fight, my money is on the Warthog)
SpartanNerd Rating of GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order
Such a good boy…he has Cobra Commander’s gun!
I am rating GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. I award points for sculpt, paint, articulation, accessories, and “feels.” The set gets all of these, especially the feels point because I also now have a German Shepherd, but also because of my love for the 1980’s GI Joe movie. I believe I will be completing the “team” of Beach Head’s recruits, because now all I need are Beach Head, Jinx, Big Lob, and Lt. Falcon.
I rate GI Joe Classified Series Law and Order a 5/5. Do you agree or disagree? Do you have a German Shepherd of your own?
Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and check out more GI Joe Classified Series reviews on SpartanNerd.com.
I have a long-form video review HERE. You can find links to every figure reviewed on the SpartanNerd home page, or in the description of the YouTube video linked above.
I am only awarding to figures that I got in 2025. This isn’t necessarily figures that came out in 2025, but that happens to be the case for some of these. The featured image shows Masters of the Universe Classics Vikor and Mythic Legions Legendary Barbarian. Neither were the winners of 2025, I just wanted to use their picture!
GI JOE CLASSIFIED FIGURE OF THE YEAR
I decided that Panthor and Gnawgahyde were candidates. But it isn’t really fair to put Panthor in the pool…I might feel differently also if he was flocked. Gnawgahyde on the other hand is incredible, with that true-to-life accurate sniper rifle and his two pets, Porkbelly and Yobbo. That’s why Gnawgahyde is the GI Joe Classified Figure of the year.
MASTERVERSE FIGURE OF THE YEAR
New Eternia Battle Armor Skeletor is the SpartanNerd MASTERVERSE Figure of the Year. Mattel learned their lesson from the two Battle Armor He-Man figures that we received already…they were lackluster and apparently haven’t sold very well. Skeletor is the opposite of that in every way. A true update, giving him the best axe in MASTERVERSE, a removable helmet, and spikes on his shoulders. He has a chain-mail piece sculpted on his cranium, and also hip armor. You can swap his chest plate quickly and easily…another improvement on the other two. I really considered Roboto, but for my 2025 tastes, I like barbarians and skeletons more than robots (does that make sense?).
LADIES CATEGORY FIGURE OF THE YEAR
I did a ladies category this year, and New Eternia Evil-Lyn was a leading candidate. But she didn’t win. I do love her paint and sculpt. Other nominees were GI Joe Classified Shooter, New Eternia Teela, and the ladies category winner of the year (keep reading!). The lack of paint on Shooter’s weapons brought her down, and the “eye roll” of Teela is what knocked her out. (The others in my comic here are Movie Evil-Lyn and Revlation Evil-Lyn, both acquisitions from previous years)I used an app called Comic Life to make these comics.Skeletor’s Throne has three different colors of fire in its LED set. I liked the green for the Snake Mountain throne room the best.Belualyth the Beastmaster is the Mythic Legions figure of the year. Incredible sculpting and paint details, plus a skeletal snake, vulture, and chimera, which I think is a cow and a big cat crossed with a snake. She is my kind of character! I always play black in Magic the Gathering, I have a collection of skeleton action figures, and this year I also picked up a lot of ladies. (action figure ladies…). That’s why Belualyth is also the ladies category winner of the year.My mom gave me that miniature Lowe’s bucket. Remember Robbies Ribs from the 1987 Masters of the Universe Movie?If you don’t know Carolina Mustard-style Barbecue, you should look that up. Even better, try some!
So there you have it!
SPARTANNERD FIGURE OF THE YEAR!
Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments! What was your greatest action figure of the year?
I picked up Shooter and Tunnel Rat from Walmart.com, fairly cheaply. I was worried…a few times I have ordered from Walmart and had some trouble. But no issues this time, and they came the next day. What got me started was reading GI Joe #12 from the Energon Universe, where Shooter was the main character. When I found her (I looked everywhere else first,) she was readily available and only $10, so I looked for someone else to also buy. They are on the same “Night Force” team, and so this is how I came to get Tunnel Rat.
How did they turn out? Keep reading! You can find a video version of this review on YouTube HERE.
Because I am doing two figures in one review, I am trying to concisely write…my headings are a little different than usual. I usually do Packaging, Figure, Accessories, Review. I am lumping it together kind of this time.
Shooter
I mostly collected Cobra as a kid…they had the most awesome designs, AND I had the ultimate aircraft gifted to me, the “Cobra Night Raven.” So it surprised even me when Shooter stood out. The reason? The Energon Universe comics.
If you haven’t read them:
Void Rivals = space opera that features Transformers and Cobra-La
Transformers = classic alien war story between Autobots and Decepticons
G.I. Joe = fallout from the alien war to the humans.
Recently M.A.S.K. has been included.
PICTURED: The issue of GI Joe that got me into Shooter. This is the Energon Universe Transformers Vol. 3 graphic novel. And don’t let the frumpy art on the cover of Void Rivals #1 throw you off…it is a great story.
It is a Hasbro remix that feels like the Ultimate Marvel Universe or the DC Comics Flashpoint.
But Shooter? I never heard of this character before until reading this comic.
A three-time gold medalists marksman who never misses. There are characters like that…Hawkeye, Green Arrow, etc. But she is different because she carries her father’s medal for balance, who hears his voice guiding her — This is a detail the SpartanNerd just couldn’t put down…I even read the comic twice in an hour.
Packaging, Accessories
The front packaging. I don’t even want to show you more of this package. The only artwork on the whole thing is this image on the left of the box. It is bigger on the side, and there is a black and white version inside the box. The back shows the package contents.
Shooter and Tunnel Rat arrived in the stupid windowless box, part of Hasbro’s “plastic-free era.” Long-time readers know I’m not a fan of this packaging. No file card, no real bio, just a QR code that dumps you at Hasbro’s shop. The side artwork is decent but doesn’t make up for the downgrade. (Go back and see my blog entry about Sgt. Slaughter.). The upside is that this packaging strategy didn’t sell figures well, and now figures with this style of packaging they are sold at steep discounts. Hard to argue with that. She was very likely a shelf warmer (female action figures often are even if they’re Scarlet, Baroness, or some other headliner).
Inside the Package
She is tied down in this shoebox with plastic things…I thought the point of this dumb packaging was to not use plastic? It is also stupid that she is in the box with the gas mask on default.
When you open her package.. (Tunnel Rat’s is the same)…The figure is tied in with plastic ties to a shoebox kind of situation with the same artwork from the front but in black and white.
She comes with a cardboard “footlocker” setup similar to Sgt. Slaughter. Accessories include:
A pistol
A knife with quick-access sheath. (I didn’t realize it when I made the video, but this is a throwing knife, making use of her terrific shooting skills in a different terrifying way)
A sniper rifle (rubbery and slightly sagging)
Two hair pieces (braids & mask-compatible style)
Gas mask / night vision
Back mount for her rifle
I don’t like that she has the mask on as a default look…but since this is a windowless box I don’t guess that really actually matters. It took me a little bit to find the nerve to remove the mask…But it came off without too much trouble.
FIGURE REVIEW
PICTURED: MASTERVERSE New Eternia Teela and Super7 Ultimates! Valeria Spirit, with GI Joe Classified Series Night Force Jodie “Shooter” Craig. Shooter appears to be a middle schooler next to these ladies.PICTURED: My favorite GI Joe Classified so far has been Gnawgahyde. Do you see how they both have a sniper rifle, but Gnawgahyde’s is far better. He has a case, a tripod, as well as a scope, a silencer, etc. True, he is a poacher, not a sniper. But there is clear disparity here in what could have been done with Shooter.
She looks great overall, but:
Her shoes have no laces — they look more middle school trendy than military.
The sniper rifle is too rubbery and droops at the barrel.
The gas mask/night vision is removable, but requires some force.
Her hair attaches via slotted pegs — bald-head customs aren’t happening here for anyone who might have wanted to do that. The gas mask/night vision is attached to a hairpiece. Her face sculpt is pretty and the paint on the actual figure is good with a night-mission feel. But I feel like there could have been a lot more paint on the accessories.
Tunnel Rat
Tunnel Rat came in the same windowless packaging, but at a slightly higher price and with way more gear — as he should. He’s nostalgic from the G.I. Joe animated movie, where he trained under Beach Head and pulled that “sewer tunnel shortcut” stunt. (To the SpartanNerd, this was the precursor scene to the iconic Beach Head-cussing-at-Jinx scene, one of the reasons to watch the movie when I was ten years old!.)
Inside the Package
Tunnel Rat’s footlocker contains:
Backpack
Attachable Flashlights
Dagger / combat knife
Heavy machine gun with stabilizers
Ammo bandolier
A magazine clip
Night-vision goggles
Sculpt and Notable Details
This version lacks the classic Tunnel Rat face paint.
The sculpt is based on Larry Hama (which I didn’t know until I checked Wikipedia). Larry Hama has written GI Joe comics and stories for 30 years, and was a minor cast member of MASH!
Also from Joe-pedia, Tunnel Rat is Trinidadian-Chinese with a Boston accent — a wonderfully unique character background.
The tripod attachment on his heavy machine gun is far inferior to Gnawgahyde’s. It looks like leftover sprue plastic from a Gundam model kit — Hasbro can do far better.
On the bright side, he stands up extremely well next to other Classified figures and outclasses the Super7 Ultimates! line in detail and at a lower price. (I am not getting any more GI Joes from Super7.)
Ratings – Shooter & Tunnel Rat
PICTURED: GI Joe Classified Tunnel Rat and Jodie “Shooter” Craig, infiltrating Cybertron. They both definitely look like they are on the same Night Force team.
Shooter is up first.
Pros:
Great sculpt
Strong character representation
Two interchangeable hairstyles
Solid articulation
Fantastic value at $10
Cons:
Weapons lack paint
Sniper rifle boring gray and lacking in things like a case.
What does she add? This character resonated strongly enough with me on a personal level on the singular exposure in the Energon Universe comic book that I read. I ordered this out of pure emotion, and am glad to add her to my collection. She gets the feels point, but loses a point for the lack of detail on the accessories and that she was shortchanged in the sniper rifle department.
Shooter — 4 out of 5
Tunnel Rat is next.
Pros:
Loaded with gear
Great sculpt and colors
Strong nostalgia factor
Cons:
Tripod is cheap-looking
Missing the classic face paint
No ammo box to feed the bandolier
Getting Tunnel Rat was kind of a knee-jerk buy on account of Shooter being so inexpensive. Just the same, he gets the feels point on account of I watched him for hours as a kid on a Beta tape that included the GI Joe movie, recorded from what was apparently the only time it ever aired on TV.
Tunnel Rat — 5 out of 5
Do you have Shooter or Tunnel Rat? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Do you agree or disagree with my ratings? I am really actually just getting into GI Joe Classified. It has been slow for me, but the Cold Slither pushed me over!
And as always — thanks for reading, listening, and watching!
MASTERVERSE New Eternia Kobra Khan- So easy to misspell! So forgive me if I mess up, Hub City Geeks! I remember Kobra Khan seemed to come out before the rest of the Snake Men. Growing up there was Kobra Khan in the SpartanNerd household, as well as Tongue Lasher and King Hiss. So we didn’t have an army of Snake Men. The SpartanMom is deathly afraid of snakes. I kind of lumped him in with Skeletor’s crew, rather than seeing the Snake Men as a different faction. He had a water squirting action, and there were a few other toys in He-Man that had this…Dragon Blaster Skeletor and Snout Spout. Water action was a cool thing then in the 1980s and continues to be a feature in toys today.
Of course, the MASTERVERSE figure doesn’t have a water feature. So how did they deal with that? Keep reading!
PACKAGING
This package is just as great as any of them. But let me say something here…I have had a rush of reviews lately…So Belualyth, New Eternia Moss Man, Cold Slither,New Eternia Teela, and New Etheria Hordak. And this character just feels…less epic. How much of that is my bias, I don’t know. But this is the reason I waited to do this one last. Apparently, like Battle Armor Skeletor and Blade, he has pretty much sold out everywhere. (I’m still feeling burned about Blade…just saying. That is the SpartanNerd failure of the year.)
So I need to keep it focused…I like that we have an image of Tongue Lasher, who is my favorite Snake Man. Hopefully he will come out soon.
The wraparound image features Rattlor.
Yeah…So Rattlor wasn’t on my radar as a kid. I think I must have been aware of him, but I never saw him and didn’t have him. So there’s that. Also, I didn’t even know about Blast Attack until I was an adult. AND…why is he considered a Snake Man? I did have a cousin or someone who had Snake Face, but I pretty much hated it. So Kobra Khan, King Hiss, and Tongue Lasher were MY Snake Men growing up. I did eventually own SSQUEEZE in Masters of the Universe Classics. (Tangents, Tangents)
The other side features the library image that also shows the alternate way of displaying the character…more vintage style or with the hood. Also, notice the Snake Men logo. This is either Classics or 200x. Good that they are keeping that.
The back is once again what you expect. A Photoshop image of the toy on an illustrated background. The bio reinforces the 200x story that it was Kobra Khan who released King Hiss and the other Snake Men from the pit in Snake Mountain. I like how they made this story track with the way the figure was released practically as one of Skeletor’s guys but then double-crossing Skeletor.
The cross-sell art might help confirm the first statement I made about why I was less excited about this one. (He looks dorky in between Hordak and Teela)
FIGURE REVIEW
What do you get in the box?
Kobra Khan figure
Cobra Snake Hood
Blaster Gun
Mace
Alternate chest piece
Alternate claw hands
purple “venom” spray effect
after messing with it for awhile, I swapped the hands for the claws for a more vintage feel…thinking maybe this would help me out with my problem here. Not really.
Kobra Khan is sculpted in pearlescent green plastic. Or is that metallic? He has the same lanky build as the other MASTERVERSE figures. There are bronze and brass painted details on the figure…his hands and the claws have a darker color than the main figure. (The hands make it feel like he is wearing gloves.)
Kobra Khan has the same eye effect that Panthor and Mer-Man have. A very realistic looking eye, that in this case kind of feels like it is something different quality than the rest of the figure.
Here is a little comparison with the Mythic Legions Ninian Infantry. I gave him Savage He-Man’s spear to make things even. And you can see that the Mythic Legions is easily a better sculpt. Kobra Khan should have more scales all over.
I guess the paint is alright. I mean, he is a green guy. But the big elephant in the room for me is the head sculpt. He looks “Rabbity” with those teeth. It is good that he has an articulated jaw…I was in fact worried that this was a static piece just from looking at the box.
ACCESSORIES
So kind of…the accessories and the figure run together a little bit. The hood and the breastplate…are these accessories? Similar to the wrist bracers…I guess they are technically accessories.
The hood just isn’t epic enough. So…weak head sculpt with a rabbity look, combined with a less-than-epic hood, means that Kobra Khan has kind of a “muppety” thing going on. BOO! (Serpentor hood? Cobra symbol? Mattel could have done better to compete with Hasbro here.)
Retreat! Wascawy Wabbit. For real, notice Cobra Commander’s snake on the hilt of his sword. Better hood than Kobra Khan. And those Cobra symbols from the GI JOE Classified Series packaging also look more epic. If there is a Serpentor, I will probably get it and compare, but I bet…
The venom spray effect is how they handle the water feature. This is purple, and not until taking the final photos did I start to realize that it looks kind of barfy. (I already did a video, and didn’t even have this thought then…)
She is the Snake Goddess. Shouldn’t he be more respectful?
Luckily, you can attach it to the end of the gun. Unfortunately, Snout Spout’s spray effect isn’t interchangeable with this one. Another missed opportunity by Mattel to do something cool that couldn’t have been that hard to accomplish.
I think it is great that you can swap out the chest plate. I prefer the one with the Snake Men logo, but the plain one is just fine and feels more vintage.
The gun has a snake sculpt to it. At first I thought it was the same as Zodac’s gun, but it is different and more flavorful. (I don’t own a MASTERVERSE Zodac…I am referring to my memory.)
And that mace. This is the weapon that came with the vintage figure, and is in fact the same that Clawful has. Which is stupid because those claws don’t hold it well.
SPARTANNERD RATING OF MASTERVERSE NEW ETERNIA KOBRA KHAN
Originally I rated this figure as a 4/5. But it has been a few more days with it, and I have changed my mind. The gun and the mace need paint apps. The hands are a strange color. The head sculpt looks rabbity and even worse when the hood is on. The sculpt doesn’t stack up to other Snake Men figures on the market. (Mythic Legions Ninian Infantry, for instance). The purple venom effect reminds me of the purple vomit scene in the movie The Sandlot.
Aww look…they are dancing. Kidding aside, even MASTERVERSE Revolution Sorceress Teela (a different sub-line based on Kevin Smith’s cartoon,) her hood looks more epic. In general New Eternia figures look better than the cartoon figures.
No. He isn’t anywhere close to a perfect five. I am awarding MASTERVERSE New Eternia Kobra Khan a 3/5. I am giving him the feels point because I needed him for my collection. He doesn’t have stupid problems…he stands well and has good articulation. And he came with a lot of accessories. But the paint and sculpt are just too bad.
I hope Tongue Lasher and King Hiss turn out better. Do you agree or disagree? Let me know in the comments!
I ordered MASTERVERSE New Eternia Teela from BigBadToyStore when she was first released, and this time I did something different…I ordered three other things that I sent to the “Pile of Loot.” So lots of reviews coming soon! (New Etheria Hordak, New Eternia Cobra Kahn, and Mythic Legions Belualyth…I will update links as I review them)
And why did I order this Teela, when I already had three other modern Teela figures? Keep reading!
PACKAGING
In this box you can see her very well. And she is looking upwards.
Teela came in the typical “Transformers” style packaging. (I use that term in reference to the way Hasbro has been doing TF toys for awhile…it increases the artwork and minimizes the blister plastic). We have a good image of her on the front holding the Staff of Ka…but you could mistake her for rowing a boat! After all, there is a Merfolk warrior looking on. (Aquaticans, I believe in Motu lore). As the image wraps around you can see her golden horse that was depicted in the early mini comics. (OK, so if Mattel doesn’t give us such a horse, this is the Four Horsemen’s chance to capitalize on what people surely will want!) Also in that wraparound image, we have an image of Castle Grayskull, but in 200x style! And we all know, Mattel and Mondo are both going to be issuing some 200x style toys. (This is a whole blog entry itself when more details get revealed).
The other side has the library image for people who store their action figures in the box, with her having windblown hair and wearing the “warrior goddess” snake headdress. And so we have homage to four different iterations of Masters of the Universe…200x with the castle, mini comics with the golden horse, filmation with the main presentation, and vintage toy with the hooded look.
The back has kind of generic photoshop of the figure, and just like the Green Goddess and Evil-Lyn, they have “airbrushed” off the seam at the thigh cut. We all know it’s there. Come on Mattel, why lie to us? Teela has a bio indicating that she has embraced her destiny as “the avatar” of “The Goddess of New Eternia.” Underneath this bio there are three cross-sell images that in addition to this figure includes Hordak and Kobra Kahn. I suppose the other figure in this was is New Eternia Moss Man, but he was offered only through Mattel Creations, mostly to Club Grayskull members at that. (The cross-sell functions for retail store shelves).
WHAT DO WE GET IN THE BOX
I told you there were seems in the thighs!
New Eternia Teela figure
Snake headdress
shield
Staff of Ka
Warrior Spear
a pair of punching fists
We have the accessories here for two different looks: “Captain of the Guard” and “Warrior Goddess.” And this starts to get into the weeds of who even is this character. Most people will remember Teela from the Filmation Cartoon and other iterations (200x) as the Captain of the Guard. And the presentation here is clearly homage to the vintage action figure, being a repaint of MASTERVERSE New Eternia Evil-Lyn with a different head. (In the vintage line, it was the other way around!) The whole Warrior Goddess thing comes from the early mini comics, which is basically an entirely different story from the Filmation show. When I was a kid I was confused by this, but you know…pretty much since I was in high school and began to get back into Masters of the Universe that there were different forces writing different stories has been clear. As Warrior Goddess, in the first issue she was green. (This is why I tend to call MASTERVERSE Revolution Sorceress Teela “The Green Goddess.” This is a fan nickname, like Baby Yoda for instance). In subsequent issues she was colored caucasian, and sometimes blonde instead of ginger. There is this whole story about Skeletor cloning her to be his bride also, and so that is why there is a Sorceress and more of a princess Teela. (It feels so weird typing all that. The mini comics were indeed different!)
Yep. This actually happened in the mini comics story “The Tale of Teela.” Funny how Skeletor says his plan is “simple.” I didn’t imagine all of that about Dolly the Sheep in the 1990’s did I? Also, this is a creeptastic plan. And this story was meant for CHILDREN TO READ.This story kind of explains why Teela has blonde hair and the goddess has red hair and wears that headdress. I’m pretty sure after this story, they began to use the word Sorceress to soften the religious connotations.
The vintage action figure came with this hood and snake staff, as well as a sword I believe. I never had a female action figure until I was 12 years old and got Evil-Lyn for Christmas, so I only know what I have seen in vintage toy stores. But I can see how all of this can be confusing for who this character actually is. But it is just fine to think of her as “He-Man’s girlfriend”.
(In the newest Netflix cartoon, Revolution, Teela and He-Man are practically married by the power of Grayskull at the end! If they make figures of this, I am the first in line! The designs were so pretty!)
FIGURE REVIEW
Well, I am at the point of wondering what the greatest action figure of the year is, and I was starting to think they couldn’t be better than MASTERVERSE New Eternia Evil-Lyn, but Teela has proven me wrong!
Teela jumped right into the den of zombies and skeletons!Notice Skeletor’s Staff of Ka being very large and unpainted BOO!
She has the same body as Evil-Lyn, only painted with lighter colors as Teela. The same boots, arm bracers, everything. She has a different skirt piece, and this is a point to bring up because in my figure, this was flattened down far too much, and also askew from the position it should be in. I was able to fix it, but if you are a mint in box collector, look out!
So this sculpt and paint are brilliant. Maybe the best part is that she looks like a real woman with maybe legs that are only slightly too long…(Mattel Barbie dolls famously have this too, so…) In other words, no hyper-sexualized design like something from Street Fighter. The upper body is tastefully presented, and that is kind of refreshing.
Her face sculpt and paint. The image on the back makes her look like the face is more round than it is. She has her hair pulled back in a ponytail, which I guess gives her a high forehead look. But her eyes…They are done very pretty. But I asked the SpartanWife if she thought the same thing as I do. I think she is looking upwards? So for Force Captain, this looks kind of strange if she is just standing there, but not if she is stabbing something with that spear. For the hooded goddess look, this looking up looks more spiritually powered up and otherworldly appropriate.
ACCESSORIES
This Teela proves that Evil-Lyn didn’t come with enough stuff. Sure, you could argue that cape was something, but really it was inexcusable. Teela’s accessory count is very welcome in the MASTERVERSE line. They are bronzy-gold in the same color as the highlights painted on the main figure. BUT…this means the Green Goddess’ Staff of Ka remains the best of the three we have been given. (Skeletor’s throne came with one also)
The Green Goddess’ Staff of Ka is still the best one we’ve been given in MASTERVERSE.
This shield looks very royal and feminine at the same time, and has that barbarian spike in the middle. The spear as well looks like it belongs in the throne room. The only paint of the accessories that I see is the spot of green on the eyes of the snake mask and a brighter colored ring around the “neck” on the Staff of Ka.
The headdress fits loosely to her face, and yet feels snug. How did they do that? I managed to get the Masters of the Unvierse Classics Weapons Pack snake armor on the earlier MASTERVERSE Revelation Teela figure only with a hairdryer. (Granted, it was for a different line…) Teela’s tiara is hidden perfectly by the mask when she has it on, and it really kind of is that she is presented as a different character. A person could be justified in having two of these! (I won’t. I’ll wait on Sorceress of Havoc to come out…that will be AWESOME if they do that!)
Four Teela figures. From top left clockwise. MASTERVERSE New Eternia Teela, MASTERVERSE Revolution Sorceress Teela, Masters of the Universe Classics Battleground Teela (with Revelation alternate head), and MASTERVERSE Revelation Teela kitbash, with Classics weapons and Super7 Ultimates! Conan the Barbarian ceremonial snake dagger.
In the above picture I have kitbashed some MOTUC with MASTERVERSE. Ultimately, the earlier MASTERVERSE Teela seems a lot more “babyish.” You can also see the improvements they have made in the knee joints so they look less lumpy. I heard another reviewer complain about having single jointed elbows, but I think that is the best choice…the arms just look better this way.
SPARTANNERD RATING OF MASTERVERSE NEW ETERNIA TEELA
I can’t say enough good stuff about the sculpt. (1 point). The paint is very good even if the choice to have her looking upwards is questionable…but she isn’t derp. (1 point). Very good articulation and she stands very well with no stupid problems. (1 point). Her accessory count is very good also. (1 point).
And OK. This is my new “go-to” Teela. I am retiring the kitbash that I have used forever. I’ll keep using MOTUC Battleground Teela for that even more barbarian “skimpy” look, but this figure is downright beautiful, and fun to play with to boot. So with the “feels point” I award MASTERVERSE New Eternia Teela a 5/5. Do you agree or disagree, Hub City Geeks? Let me know in the comments!
spartannerd 